Posts by: Abe

It’s a perfect setting for H.G. Wells’ “War of the Worlds”. The Republican convention in Cleveland, I mean.

An invasive species is coming to town, the place that cynics have described as the “mistake on the lake”. But it’s there that the place will have to give up that derisive title to a bigger mistake about to take place in July on the lake. As all of us have come to know him, Donald Trump will be the measure of all things. (Sorry, Protagoras, for taking liberties with your words!)

The looming disaster alone is enough to draw 50,000 visitors […]

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Kasich: From Lion To Lamb

On May 6, 2016 By

Can you imagine how painful it must have been for John Kasich to step up to the camera and mournfully announce what so many were predicting for a long time: He would not press forward his failed campaign for the Republican presidential nomination after all. The primary voters could not be persuaded by the blue-collar kid who repeatedly wanted to remind us that his father was a mailman but never explained why any of that mattered for a guy trying for the second time to win his party’s prize. It didn’t, of course.

After blowing more than $10 million on […]

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John Kasich is running a presidential campaign, to put it loosely, without topsoil. His chaotic antics have so confused the gallery that even the Beacon Journal, which finds so much to like about the Ohio governor, has had to backtrack on its rationale for him to stay in the race. He’s better than the other two Republican contenders, the paper says, while praising his “knowledge and experience”. But it’s now had to factor in the metrics of his dismal performance on Tuesday in which he was pummeled to a base of clay in all five primary states.

His image was […]

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As the curtain rose on the next act of the Theater of the Absurd, we learned of a deal between John Kasich and Ted Cruz to stop Donald Trump (with a president to be named later,I presume). In one of dumbest ideas since Abe Lincoln and other Unionists worked to block the secession of Texas. Kasich will get Rhode Island for the April 26 primary trade while Cruz receives Indiana on May 3.

Folks, I needn’t tell you that once Trump learned of the deal he shattered the order of the universe with sarcastic outrage. “Pathetic” he bellowed to a […]

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Rob Portman, The Un-Trump

On April 20, 2016 By

When Ohio Republican Sen. Rob Portman stepped up to the podium at the Akron Press Club luncheon, the well-behaved partisan audience got a closeup of the prototypical Un-Trump.

Casual open collar, lean, unthreatening, a sweep of gray hair betraying his boyish manner, a regular guy – all of it Un-Trump evidence of his selfie as a “Common Sense Conservative”.

As it happened, even his speech as the candidate for reelection against former Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland followed the safest route, narrowly content to tell us what everyone in the room already knew: Good grief. There’s a drug crises in the […]

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Kaisch Winner Of GALL Award

On April 20, 2016 By

The past week’s winner of the Grumpy Abe Linguistic Lunacy (GALL) award goes to Gov. Kasich  for the hubris of his comments during  his interview with the New York  Daily News editorial board, which endorsed his presidential candidacy.

As reported by Plunderbund from the interview’s transcript, Kasich,  so full of himself , puffed:

“You know, it’s amazing that I know all of this stuff, isn’t it?  Cause there ain’t nobody else who can come in here [that] could answer any of this.”

Ain’t that a fact?     But you can know a lot of  things when  you make things up.

 

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The longer I’ m at this silly enterprise called presidential politics, the more confusing it becomes.  The sobering word we get from Gov. John Kasich is that anybody who votes for Donald Trump or Ted Cruz will not get Donald Trump nor Ted Cruz but rather Hillary Clinton.  How can that be?  They don’t even look like her.  Well, it you are the mind-stretrching logician that Kasich pretends to be, Republicans who  vote for the other two Republicans must be aware of the horrific  consequences of the party’s  flock strife that will hand the White House to Hillary.

On the […]

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Trump’s Gift From The Media

On April 2, 2016 By

Donald Trump, we all know by now, has the mind of a graffiti artist and the extravagance of Marie Antoinette. “I’m rich,” he matter of factly summarizes his control over all things temporal. “I can do these things.”

It’s then that you begin to wonder if he is the ultimate payoff of wealth and reckless power in a free society or merely a clownish pop-up figure in a penny arcade to amuse you for no more than a blink.

This much is certain; the media elite are now beginning to question their own early fascination with Trump as a magnet […]

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Kasich, A Mailman’s Son

On March 31, 2016 By

John Kasich’s father was a mailman. You may already know that. You’ve doubtless heard him say it when you surfed past Dr. Phil. Or a TV weather report. Or a Chevy commercial. Or when he cut into a Jimmy Swaggart sermon. Or a remedy for toenail fungus. Or when LeBron James is dashing down the floor for a dunk.

It never changes. “My father was a mailman,” the governor always assures each audience, an uplifting preface to his profound preparation to lead the nation. A simple declaratory sentence separates him from his predecessors who didn’t have.the benefit of a mailman in […]

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You may have noticed that there’s been a lot of nasty pushing and shoving by Republican candidates who want not only to make America great but also to satisfy the hitherto ignored hearts and souls of civilized human beings.

That should be clearly evident in the bloody crossfire of people like Donald Trump and Ted Cruz who have settled on the word “liar” to defend one from the other. John Kasich has sought shelter in pretending to be a moderate right up to the split-second that he came down ferociously conservative on abortion, Planned Parenthood, Obamacare, the auto industry bailout, the […]

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Grown-Ups

On March 18, 2016 By

Political campaigns  are never without a fresh supply of jargon, from Yellow Dogs, boll weevils  and angry white guys, to gravitas, Nascar dads and a soccer mom from somewhere up north. We need an artificial way to extract one pol from another to keep everybody casually informed of who’s who.

Now, we’re being introduced to the phenomenon of “grown- ups”. It’s a common word that has taken on new meaning  in the helter-skelter of the 2016 campaign.   As the Plain Dealer chipped in with its endorsement of John  Kasich:  “Alone among Republicans Kasich acts like a grown-up”. I only agree […]

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