Plunderbund

So I read today that Cindy Stankoski and Vanessa Stout turned down a 200K settlement in their harassment lawsuit against the AG’s office. Their lawyer thinks they deserve something closer to a million dollars.

I spent the day trying to come up with a reasoned and balanced response to this information but I’m having a really hard time. My brain tells me Cindy and Vanessa are two victims who totally deserve the maximum settlement they can negotiate - but my gut tells me Stankoski and Stout are a couple of undereducated, overly-lawyered bimbos trying to defraud Ohio’s taxpayers.

On the one hand they do have an obvious sexual harassment claim. And sexual harassment is a serious crime that should never be tolerated. The people who committed this crime, and let me be clear here: it IS a crime, should be punished. Dann, Jennings and Gutierrez should suffer for being complete sexist assholes. And they should be held personally (read: financially) responsible for their actions.

On the other hand, I’m having a really hard time feeling bad for either of these women.

It’s one thing to file a lawsuit because you are being treated unfairly at work. But it really is a whole different thing to pose for the cover of Columbus Monthly Magazine in a skin-tight body suit after you’ve been made famous for getting your boss fired.

Cindy and Vanessa never should have been hired to begin with. And both should have been fired at the same time as the rest of Marc Dann’s unqualified and overpaid friends.

Having them on the state payroll is a waste of taxpayer dollars given that neither of these women is qualified for a job with the AG’s office. Hell, they aren’t even qualified for a job with KFC. With an 11th grade education and multiple drug arrests, you aren’t going to find a lot of employers returning your phone calls.

This doesn’t mean they don’t have a valid sexual harassment claim that needs to be resolved. Certainly they do. But it isn’t your typical claim.

There is no way these women can claim any actual damages in a lawsuit. They have no lost wages, etc. resulting from this harassment claim. The most they can hope for is punitive damages. Which isn’t something their lawyer - or any lawyer - really wants to pursue at trial unless they really, really have to.

Cindy and Vanessa need to settle.

The AG’s office needs to settle.

So why the hell is this still going on?

Listen up ladies: tell your lawyer to fuck off and accept the settlement with the AG’s office. You don’t need his approval.

Or at the very least present them with a counter offer. Something reasonable. e.g. 200K plus a year’s salary and medical benefits so you have time to find another job.

Then hire someone else to sue Dann, et al directly.

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Ken Blackwell just got a bunch of endorsements in his bid for Republican Nation Committee chairman. Many of the endorsements are from hate-mongering, homophobic, anti-intellectual Christian extremists.

Notable endorsers include homophobes like Tony Perkins and James C. Dobson as well as complete nuts like Phyllis Schlafly, well known for her opposition to the Equal Rights Amendment, and Tim LaHaye, the author of the Left Behind books and a big advocate of “curing” homosexuals.

If these people are able to wrestle control of the Republican Party away from the moderates it will mean the end of the GOP as we know it today.

I wish them the best of luck!

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Columbus Monthly magazine has selected Cindy Stankoski and Vanessa Stout as their persons of the year…

bwahahahaaa!

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Seriously. Tripp. Two P’s.

Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston

No word on why they named the kid Tripp. But I just emailed the Alaska Governor’s Office with that question.

Until I hear otherwise, I’m running with the theory that Bristol and Levi named their kid after their favorite brand of jeans, Tripp, sold exclusively at Hot Topic.

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Chip Saltsman wants to be the next Chairman of the Republican National Committee. His big plan to win over the hearts and minds of other Republicans: release a Christmas CD containing the racist song “Barack the Magic Negro.”

I suppose I should be angered by this action, but I’m actually pretty happy about it. I love to see Republican party nutjobs get national press for their extremist views. In only helps convince moderate voters that the GOP has become a party of radical social conservatives.

Speaking of radical social conservatives, Ohio’s own extremist Ken Blackwell actually defended Saltsman. Blackwell, who is running for the Chairman position himself and who also happens to be black, said “there is hypersensitivity in the press regarding matters of race” because of Obama’s election, and he concluded, “All of my competitors for this leadership post are fine people.”

You absolutely have to love the Republican party for self-destructive behavior like this… The black homophobe from Ohio defends the racist hick from Tennessee and both are candidates for the chairmanship of their party.

Man I hope one of them wins.

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Availability is one of the biggest hurdles to becoming an addict. You want to know why so many people are nicotine addicts? Availability is the answer. Cigarettes are available everywhere, 24 hours a day. So addiction is easy and relatively cheap.

Not so much with something like OxyContin, which is a highly controlled, Schedule II narcotic. It might be easy to get your hands on a few pills from your friend after his appendectomy, but if you really want to be an addict you need a stable supply of the stuff.

So when I first read about Track Palin’s OxyContin addiction I was a bit skeptical.

It seemed kind of a stretch to believe that a 17 year old kid, regardless of his family’s political connections, could get his hands on a steady stream of hardcore prescription pain killers.

It turns out it was easier than I expected.

Enter Levi Johnston (and his drug dealing mother).

It looks like Levi Johnston was more than just the local high school hockey star and the father of Bristol (Track’s sister) Palin’s unborn child.

It looks like Levi was the kid you wanted to know if you needed a solid and reliable OxyContin connection at Wasilla High School. I wonder how many of the other kids knew that his awesome connection was actually his own mother?

I guess Wasilla really is one of those real, honest, pro-America small towns that Sarah Palin was talking about.

And I guess these are some of those real Americans. The good and decent folk who love their kids and their country. The Joe-sixpacks and the hockey moms who make this country great (by using their hockey-star sons to sell illegal drugs to the local politician’s kids.)

And here I was thinking the Palins were nothing more than a bunch of oddly named, drug snorting, teen-sex-having, hypocritical Alaskan hillbillies.

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Bristol Palin’s baby was supposedly due on the 18th. Five days overdue now and counting.

Readers have been suggesting names for the new addition to Palin family so I thought I’d post some of them while we wait for more news.

Hanlon suggests Winchester, Grunt, and Shoulderpads. I wish I’d thought of Winchester, that’s a great name!

J-Dog has an extensive list going including Starr (after Ken), Algaem, Naugle, Wurzelbacher or Plumber, Lichen, Liverwort, Lemongrass and Nugent.

Zamboni seems to be the most popular one so far. Followed by Maverick.

Personally, I’m still thinking it’s going to be something biblical (Noah, Jonah, Aaron, Jacob, etc.) unless Levi goes rogue and names the kid after some famous hockey player (e.g. Wayne Gretzky Palin Johnston).

Any other suggestions?

(I really wish Levi still had his myspace page up so I post this on his wall)

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The final IG reports related to Marc Dann are out but I don’t think anyone is really surprised.

Dann misused campaign funds and abused state resources and helped out his friends and family with money and gifts.

It’s still worth reading just to see the extent to which Dann abused the system and his position, but at the end of the day the IG report just confirmed what we already knew: Marc Dann is a sleazy dirtbag who will never, ever, ever hold political office again.

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I keep recording “Huckabee”, Mike Huckabee’s talk show on the Fox News Channel, because it really is comedy gold. There is so much funny stuff in there that I’d like to write about. I really wish I could sit all the way through an episode and record all of the humor for you.

Of course, it isn’t intended to be comedy. But every time I watch it I end up laughing my ass off.

It is really low budget - like one of those day-time talk shows or one of those infomercials you see late at night. It has a studio audience of about 50 people who cheer enthusiastically every time Mike brings his wife out to talk about Jesus or the evil gays or christian home schooling or whatever the topic of the day is.

I really wish I could watch the show all the way through and pick out some really funny things to post about but it is just SO painful to watch.

Yes, it makes me laugh. But it’s like the way I laughed at Borat or the way I laugh when I watch The Office.

It’s the kind of laughter that makes me get up off the couch and walk to the kitchen even though I’m not hungry. It’s uncomfortable laughter. It’s painful laughter. It’s this-is-going-to-be-really-funny-later-but-I-don’t-want-to-watch-it-now laughter.

Eventually I’ll get around to posting some video of this disaster of a show. But for now I’ll just give you one small quote that I just heard that might help you understand why I can’t watch more than a minute or so of this show at a time.

For a little context, the episode was about a. the war on christmas b. some poor, unemployed, good-christian gal who gave Mike her wedding ring as a campaign contribution and c. the auto bail out.

Right before the final musical number, Mike said this:

“Far better than a government bail out is a God bail out… His approach really isn’t a bail out at all. It’s a bail in.”

And then the “band” was introduced. But it wasn’t actually a band at all. Instead it was Mike (on bass) and a bunch of Fox News Employees murdering Chuck Berry’s ‘Run Rudolph Run’. Talk about a war on Christmas!

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