AP Photo – Alex Brandon

Kellyanne Conway, we’re going to need your help with this one.

The headline says it all: Portman Verdict In Before Impeachment Trial Begins: Not Guilty.

In a world of alternative facts, as Conway placed that term in our lexicon for the ages, the current buzz says that consistent with the headline, a United States Senator from Ohio has been nominated for the prestigious Earl Landgrebe Memorial Award.

The purpose of the Landgrebe Award is to recognize the most faithful, fact-free, amnesic and closed-minded of Republicans as the party, in the midst of presidential impeachment proceedings, argues about and is confused by indisputable facts.

Um, maybe we should say alternative facts. Or are they merely fact facts?

I dunno. After all, if it’s not me saying it, Kellyanne can report this alternative fact. And decide for us.

That’s a fact. Sort of.

So, Kellyanne, please confirm the rumor that Rob Portman has been nominated to be the next recipient of the prestigious Earl Landgrebe Award. There are rumors flying around that an announcement will be coming in the next few weeks as the Senate, after a vote by the House, is set to argue whether Donald Trump has committed impeachable offenses.

According to several alternative fact sources, this award was established to honor the memory of an Indiana congressman who was one of President Richard Nixon’s most ardent defenders during the Watergate investigation and impeachment process.

The very basis for the Landgrebe Award is found within the 1986 Washington Post obituary that recorded the passing of the former congressman and the immortal words he uttered in August 1974:

Don’t confuse me with the facts. I’ve got a closed mind. I will not vote for impeachment. I’m going to stick with my president even if he and I have to be taken out of this building and shot.

Earl F. Landgrebe – congress.gov

NOTE: The day after Landgrebe made this statement, Nixon resigned in disgrace, the only president ever to resign his high office. In addition, the Indiana congressman was not shot along with his commander-in-chief but lived on a few years into the second term of Ronald Reagan.

According to other unconfirmed rumors, Portman was a shoe-in for consideration of the Landgrebe Award since he is one of 71 current members of Congress who also served during the impeachment of President Bill Clinton and passed judgment in defining what is an impeachable offense.

In his statement about impeachment, as reported in the Cleveland Plain Dealer, Rob Portman had this to say on this weighty subject:

Like so many Americans, I am saddened by this difficult chapter in our nation’s history. Unfortunately, the President’s actions have forced Congress to take the extraordinary step of considering articles of impeachment. Article I, Section 2 of the Constitution gives the House of Representatives “the sole Power of Impeachment,” while Article I, Section 3 gives the Senate “the sole Power to try all Impeachments.”

As reported by the Plain Dealer, Portman’s statement continued with his interpretation of the facts.

The role of the House is to determine whether there is sufficient evidence to charge the President with committing “high crimes and misdemeanors” that warrant a trial in the Senate – similar to the actions that a grand jury would take in issuing an indictment in a criminal proceeding…

This is one of the most important votes I will take as a Member of Congress. I have felt a responsibility to the people I represent to do my homework carefully before making a final decision. That’s why I have thoroughly reviewed the facts, the underlying articles of impeachment and the arguments made for and against the President. I have also reviewed the Judiciary Committee’s report, which was released last night. Finally, of course, I have searched my conscience.

After careful consideration, I have concluded that [the] President …has committed serious offenses that merit impeachment by the United States House of Representatives. Committing perjury, obstructing justice and abusing the power of the Presidency violate the rule of law that all citizens – even the President – must obey. And, of course, these acts are fundamentally inconsistent with the oath the President — as the nation’s chief law enforcement officer — took to “faithfully execute” the laws of the United States. I am particularly troubled by the clear evidence of lying, … that truth is the bedrock of our judicial system.

I am also concerned because the President – by the very nature of his office – has a special responsibility to set an example… We are a nation of laws and, as a Member of Congress, I have a sworn duty to uphold the Constitution and the rule of law. I must vote to impeach. [Emphasis mine.]

Was Portman’s statement about presidential impeachment crafted recently? Nope.

After Portman “searched his conscience,” that’s what the “clear evidence,” of “obstructing justice and abusing the power of the Presidency” showed him ….

In 1998.

But that was then, you liberal pinko latte drinking tree-hugging socialist snowflakes.

Today, it’s a different story with Portman, and that makes him the rumored Landgrebe Award nominee. Here is a recent statement that, in the opinion of the Landgrebe selection panel, clinched the nomination for Rob Portman, who, of all people in the House Impeachment Class of 1998,  should not be confused with the facts. No, not alternative facts. Just the facts.

The American people want us to get things done for them rather than focus on more and more partisan investigations. The Democrats’ impeachment inquiry will distract Congress from the bipartisan legislative work we should be doing to find solutions and deliver results for the American people.

Congratulations, Ohio Senator Rob Portman, for your rumored nomination to receive the prestigious Earl Landgrebe Memorial Award. As you search your conscience, look for clear evidence of lying by the president, and strive to affirm that truth is the bedrock of our judicial system, you might soon be able to raise your new glistening award, engraved with the immortal words of Earl Landgrebe:

Don’t confuse me with the facts. I’ve got a closed mind. I will not vote for impeachment. I’m going to stick with my president even if he and I have to be taken out of this building and shot.

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