I shit you not. This fucker has some onions that’s for sure. “Judge, I’d like you to release my cow kicking and beating ass so I can go beat my own horses and light my cat on fire with lighter fluid”. If you thought dude was mental before, this just ties a nice tight bow on top of that assessment. He says he has some animals to take care of as a reason the judge should let him out of jail:

Plays the disabled veteran card. The law enforcement officer tests to take card. This guy is something else. […]