If the last few days have been any indication, there are some folks who yearn to see Chuck Barris come back from his grave to perform an act of public service. If only The Gong Show host, who described himself as the “King of Schlock, Baron of Bad Taste, and Ayatollah of Trasherola,” could pick up that giant mallet one last time.
Now, more than ever, we need Chuck Barris or a successor to gong Rep. Jim Jordan, the presumptive King of Schlock and Baron of Bad Taste.
We’ll hold off on the Ayatollah part for now in anointing Jordan, though he might be in the running for that title as well. Enough schlock and bad taste are too much of the same, particularly when the subject is Jim Jordan.
Jordan is certainly no angel. But now, while the country watched in disgust his antics on live television as he badgered two of the nation’s top law enforcement officials, we’ve seen him as a fool.
Jim Jordan has been called uncivil many times. Indeed, his fellow Ohioan and former Speaker John Boehner famously described him last year as “A terrorist. A legislative terrorist.” Yet his performance yesterday during the hearing of the House Judiciary Committee has raised even more questions about his fitness for office.
The coatless wonder from Urbana is still coatless, but we no longer have to wonder about what he really is besides being uncivil and a legislative terrorist.
For starters, he is shameless. Add to that the rest of his GOP House committee colleagues, including Trey Gowdy of Benghazi fame, and Louie Gohmert, who sometimes blurts out asparagus thoughts in hearings.
Good lord. That’s only the short list of lunatics. Even John Belushi would have difficulty recruiting such a crew for his Animal House frat.
In his commentary after Jordan and Company’s spectacle berating FBI Director Christopher Wray and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, Morning Joe host and former Republican Congressman Joe Scarborough had this to say about the House Judiciary Committee Clown Show performing for all to see:
I don’t understand why they’re yelling and screaming and being unhinged at these loyal Republicans who are law enforcement officers, and yet they don’t care at all about the 3-year-old kids that are being dragged into court.
Several months ago, Plunderbund readers were given a few glimpses of Jordan, where he was seen as perhaps the most uncivil member of Congress and also for his most recent role, in concert with Rudy Giuliani, as a hyper-partisan slime machine bullying anyone who is sworn to follow institutional procedures in applying the rule of law.
In May, the Columbus Dispatch foretold the behavior of the constantly coatless congressman and his colluding crew in trying to wreck the current investigation into the Trump campaign:
Fred Wertheimer, president of Democracy 21 in Washington, charged that by threatening articles of impeachment against Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein for refusing to turn over to Congress documents about the investigation, Jordan, Rep. Mark Meadows, R-S.C., and Trump are “colluding to obstruct and potentially give” the White House control of the probe.
But though many around the country knew something about the always aberrant bad behavior of Jim Jordan, his June 28 performance reached such an altitude that Scarborough and other members of the commentariat are using a common word to describe him.
Jennifer Rubin, the conservative columnist for the Washington Post, expertly described the Unhinged Urbanan in this fashion:
The sight of a calm, methodical deputy attorney general, patiently answering an unhinged inquisitor’s accusations (followed by interruptions so Rosenstein couldn’t answer), was bracing. Jordan is the perfect incarnation of the GOP in 2018 — unhinged, bullying, unbound by facts and unconcerned with the norms of democratic government. A subsequent, unenforceable House resolution demanding Rosenstein comply with a request for documents concerning the investigation was the perfect coda to a kangaroo-court hearing.
For good measure, Rubin described the loud laughter that broke out in the hearing room when Jordan stepped into the very doo-doo that he was trying to hurl at Rosenstein:
At one point, Jordan accused Rosenstein of threatening to subpoena phone calls. Rosenstein dryly responded that there is no such thing. Laughter broke out in the room.
So in addition to uncivil and terrorist, the descriptors for Jim Jordan keep piling up. Thanks to Scarborough, Rubin, and others, we have bully, unhinged, unbound, and unconcerned.
With the list of shouting and uncivil suspects on the House Judiciary Committee, it seems that these descriptors, like those for the committee, are only the short list of terms used to identify the Unhinged Urbanan.
Come to think of it, I would like to use my prerogative in describing Jordan here and add unsuited to the – unlist, since he doesn’t seem to wear a suit. (Bah dump bum.)
But since Jordan will remain unrepentant and manifest the same behavior he displayed during his Ohio Statehouse stint, residents of the 4th Congressional District have a remedy in disposing of this embarrassment to the Buckeye State.
Those who want to unburden themselves of Jordan need to consider a qualified, sane, and civil alternative to represent them in the U.S. Congress. Those qualities can be found in Janet Garrett, the Democratic candidate, a retired educator and positive force who stands ready to represent the people of the district.
Unlike the unhinged, unconcerned, and unguided missile known as Jim Jordan, Janet Garrett was determined to ensure that Jordan had a worthy and electable opponent in the heavily gerrymandered 4th district this election year. Visit her website, Janet Garrett for Congress, and find out more about a professional who understands the needs of the district and is ready to bring a reasonable, calm, and unifying voice to the task of governance in our very troubled country.
As a history graduate student years ago, I came across a work, Essays Diplomatic and Undiplomatic of Thomas A. Bailey, the eminent Woodrow Wilson scholar, and historian of American diplomacy. Bailey once observed that a fellow historian, David Starr Jordan (certainly no relation), believed that “no man can shout and at the same time tell the truth.”
His words ring true today.
Jim Jordan shouts and bullies. When he shouts and bullies, he cannot be telling the truth.
No, we can’t expect Chuck Barris to come back from the dead to gong Jim Jordan for his constant state of shouting and bullying. But we can help this unhinged, unbound, unconcerned, and unsuited representative of the good people of Ohio’s 4th congressional district to acquire a new suit upon his retirement from Congress.
(NOTE: A reference to the diplomatic history professor Thomas Bailey almost obliges us to add yet another – unto the Jordan descriptors: undiplomatic.)
The people of the district need to roll up their sleeves, pick up that big wooden mallet, gong Jim Jordan, and then help him get that new suit so that he will, in fact, be suitable for his next job, whatever that might be.
It’s time to stop the shouting and bullying behavior of Jim Jordan by voting for Janet Garrett. He proves every day to be an embarrassment.
Yes, Jim Jordan, you can’t shout and at the same time tell the truth.