State Rep. John Becker, doing the hard thinking on other peoples’ privates

It may be the most reliable thing in Buckeye politics: Ohio state Rep. John Becker’s chief concern at any given time is how other people are using their genitals. He’s obsessed by it. It’s not just a hobby; it’s a passion.

The man is severely repressed, and he probably needs to talk to a professional about it, but until then our General Assembly shall be plagued by Becker’s preoccupation with our collective private parts.


Republican Rep. John Becker says he’s hearing from constituents who tell him they think the state needs a law against unisex bathrooms in public places. He says he’s looking into what legislation, if any, is needed.

“Why isn’t this real simple? If you have male genitalia, you go in the men’s bathroom. If you have women’s genitalia, you go in the women’s bathroom. It’s unfortunate that legislation might be necessary to enforce common sense but that’s the world we live in.”

John Becker doesn’t seem to realize that there are a lot of people with a woman’s genitalia who look like Buck Angel. I’d kind of love to see the look of paralytic confusion on John’s face as he watched Buck saunter into the women’s restroom at King’s Island.

You can’t make this ish up, folks. I have to admit, I’m thoroughly creeped out by John Becker. Here’s a guy who saw the sitch in North Carolina, and said, “You know what we need in Ohio? That brand of batshit!”

Of course, Becker’s playing scratch golf on this issue. He has a long and illustrious history of this type of thing.

He’s fond of comparing homosexuality to rutting the house pets and livestock. He suggested Massachusetts be expelled from the Union for allowing equal marriage rights in 2003, that Alaska be allowed to secede over the issue, and that condom-free zones should be established around school buildings. What a mensch.

But y’know what, John? The world is a wonderfully diverse place, and that diversity makes it an infinitely better place. Despite your personal, horribly awkward inner turmoil, most of the rest of us have embraced the uniqueness of individuals, lifestyles and cultures and have come away better, richer people because of it.

You know what you need, John? You need a king hell drag cabaret at Axis. Those heels weren’t meant to stay hidden away from the world in your closet forever, honey.

Pull the wig down from the shelf like Hedwig, sweetie. Shake it loose. Go on with ya bad self.

David DeWitt is a writer and man of sport and leisure based out of Athens, Ohio. He has also written for Government Executive online, the National Journal’s Hotline, and The New York Observer’s He can be found on Twitter @DC_DeWitt and on Facebook here.