I tried very hard not to feel weepy about Rick Perry’s crash as a presidential candidate. Here, after all, was a fellow who bought himself a set of professorial glasses and said he was blessed for his second go-round as a Republican candidate from Texas and that life was good to him.

But despite his “smart-guy” eyeglasses and shoes that replaced cowboy boots, people began to suspect that his new cosmetically altered upholstery couldn’t disguise the fact that he was still Tom Mix. Within a year or so after washing out of the 2012 race, he turned up at a Right-wing bloggers conference in New Orleans with praise for the conservatives of Florida. That geographic boo-boo drew a loud shout from the audience that informed him he was in Louisiana.

So why would anybody kick a guy when he’s already down and out cold?

But would we really want somebody in the Oval Office for at least four years who thinks so highly of his GOP buddies?

“We have a tremendous field – the best in a generation – so I step aside knowing our party is in good hands, and as long as we listen to the grassroots, the cause of conservatism will be, too.”

“The best in a generation?”

That isn’t clearly evident in what NY Times columnist Gail Collins reminded us in her rap sheet of the survivors so far.

I particulrly liked her reference to Ted Cruz’s “strange summer strategy of joining himself at the hip with Donald Trump, thus guaranteeing that no one would ever notice anything he said or did.”

Or Scott Walker, who dismissed the Syrian migrant tragedy by supposing that “Every wants to talk about hypotheticals. There is no such thing as a hypothetical.”

The rap sheet includes Ben Carson’s denial of evolution and Gov.Kasich taking over the “conservative- with-a-heart thing” from Mike Huckabee, who has been busy marketing Kim Davis. Don’t want to even get into the Donald Trump thing.

With Perry out of the way, we must still assume that all of Republican candidates are religious confectioners, since Christianity is quite politically fashionable these days.

Thanks, anyway, Rick . You may now remove those Groucho Marx glasses.