Back in the 1920s, the age of dance marathons was consuming every American without bunions. The winners were chosen on endurance. But not everybody was impressed by the sweeping mania. “Of all the crazy competitions ever invented”, growled the New York World, “the dancing marathon wins by a considerable margin of lunacy.”
Yeah. As a witness to the flash mob of candidates who hope to be still around for the last dance in November 2016, we can relate. The past few days brought to our attention several more “hopefuls” who officially entered the crowded dance floor, figuring that with the frenzied NFL draft past, the average citizen would have more time to consider less serious matters.
With Republicans like Ben Carson, Rand Paul, Marco Rubio, Scott Walker et al, the New York Times is calling the current version the “Empathy Primary”. It notes that Walker, a Baptist preacher’s son, is making much of his frugality, boasting of his $1 Kohl’s sweater. Swell. But the paper also reports that the Wisconsin governor owes tens of thousands of dollars on his credit cards.
Ben Carson, who once blamed same-sex marriage for pedophilia, reportedly waltzed up at the conservative Heritage Foundation for five hours of tutoring on domestic and foreign policy. You can never be too prepared for the home stretch.
Our favorite, however, was the official arrival of Carly Fiorina. “Yes,’ she said at her epic announcement, on Good Morning America, “I think I’m the best person for the job because I understand how the economy actually works. I understand the world; who’s in it.”
Why didn’t she know that much when she was forced out of her job as the CEO of Hewlett-Packard because it’s stock went into the tank after her fail-safe merger with Compaq was a disaster. Mother Jones scorecard: It cost up to 18,000 jobs. but her reward: a golden parachute of $21 million!
Still on the clock is Gov. John Kasich, waiting for word from God and maybe his next-in-line friend, Sheldon Adelson.
Whew! Did I mention that Mike Huckabee just announced for president?