Well, John Kasich is not going to win, but I’d love to see him go out there and waste his time anyway.
His feints toward presidential ambition have been so knee-slappingly entertaining thus far, I’d hate him to forego the opportunity to dance across the national stage one more time. I’m a man who enjoys a good show.
And while the GOP clown car unloads with the likes of Ted Cruz, Jeb Bush, Scott Walker, Rand Pail, Chris Christie, and Marco Rubio, the only thing that could make this three-ring better for me is Ohio’s own painfully awkward and unfailingly mendacious governor, shoulders hunched and arms a-waggling, making his pitch alongside the rest of the freak show.
The 2016 GOP Presidential Primary debates are going to be the best political vaudeville the curtain has raised on since, well, the 2012 GOP Presidential Primary debates. This is where the crazy try to out-batshit the insane, and the intolerant and ignorant take bombastic pride in the depravity of their intolerance and ignorance. That great American satirist Terry Southern (bless the scoundrel’s eternal soul) would struggle to pen something as balls-out absurd as what we get these days from the Republican Presidential Primary.
From the Columbus Dispatch:
(Kasich) made clear that simply running without any realistic prospect of winning held little appeal to him, saying he had “been in this business for a long enough time to kind of get a sense of whether it’ll work.” …
Although he repeatedly points out that as a governor of a major state and former chairman of the U.S. House budget committee he has more government experience than any other candidate, he said again today he has not made any decision.
“I’m traveling around the country, I’ve been in two critical states a number of times,” Kasich said, referring to New Hampshire and South Carolina. He also pointed out he has formed a non-profit organization to raise money for his travel, saying, “We’ll see how that goes, and we’ll see whether I can have the resources.”
Kasich made his comments in the city my southern Ohio kin would charmingly, and ever-untrustingly, refer to as Wore-shingtin, where no doubt he was has been vying to suckle at the teet of Big Money that aims to purchase our elections wholesale.
And of course, the gathering at which he made these remarks were co-sponsored by The Brothers Koch. Maybe now that Scott Walker has fallen out of favor with Charles and David, Kasich wants to put his hand on his hip, his best foot forward, and twirl one more time on the catwalk for the oligarchs. Do your little turn, John.
Before his speech, Kasich met with Sen. Rob Portman, R-Ohio, about 20 House Republicans, and GOP members of the Ohio congressional delegation as he pushed for adoption of a constitutional amendment that would require the federal government to balance its budget.
“It’s a common-sense issue,” said Kasich, who said only a constitutional amendment would force the federal government to live within its means.
Ho ho! Yes, John, perfect. Couch your visit in one of the worst ideas in American politics. I find myself covering a lot of Republican functions, and whenever I realize the speaker is about to launch a call for the Balanced Budget Amendment, I breathe a sigh of relief, sit back, and relax, comfortable in the knowledge that whoever I’m covering is a fundamentally unserious person, making a sucker’s pitch to the rubes.
I can’t tell you how much I’d love to watch Kasich attempt to defend such nonsense under national grilling, pretending the timber of his presidential lumberyard hasn’t been overrun by termites. But unfortunately he still isn’t even scraping 2 percent in the aggregated national polls. Alackaday.
David DeWitt is a writer and man of sport and leisure based out of Athens, Ohio. He has also written for Government Executive online, the National Journal’s Hotline, and The New York Observer’s Politicker.com. He can be found on Twitter @TheRevDeWitt.