Back in September of 2013, John Kasich finally revealed the “secret” to his political success in an interview with the NYT:  God told him to run for governor of Ohio.   With a holy wind at his back, Kasich went on to win a second term the following year.  But “God” seems to be much less vocal this year regarding predictions for the 2016 presidential race.

Kasich’s convenient 2013  confession may have come across as a cheap political stunt to many of Times readers.  But make no mistake: Kasich isn’t just making cocktail chatter when he expresses disbelief in whether important things “happen by accident,” he’s providing personal “proof”  that he has a divine right to whatever political office he holds.

His statements also hold  a warning: anyone who dares to disagree with his divinely-inspired plan  is”going to have to answer to a much higher power.”

It’s been a few years since Kasich made that threat and, so far, God has yet to smite Plunderbund or ProgressOhio, at least not in the expected, Old Testament, plague/pillar of salt/fire/lion eating kind of way.

But that lack of smiting hasn’t stopped Kasich from going back to religion as a crutch each time he gets caught without an actual answer to a question.


Kasich jokes with Chuck Todd on Meet the Press

On NBC’s  Meet the Press yesterday morning, Chuck Todd lobbed a pretty simple question at Kasich: “What would cause you not to run [for president]?”

After the mandatory mention of “family,” Kasich jumped right into what he defined as the “most important thing”:  “What does the Lord want me to do with my life”?

Good question.  Here’s a better one:  What kind of “message” is Kasich actually waiting for?

Does God talk to Mr. Kasich in a dream?  Through a burning “Bush”? Via Snapchat?  Or does he/she simply leave a message on his old-school cell phone in the voice of Morgan Freeman?

Regardless of the delivery mechanism, we know Kasich is still waiting for the call… “You know, he puts us on the Earth, all of us on Earth to achieve certain purposes,” said Kasich. “And I’m not going to figure that out laying (sic) in bed hoping lighting strikes.”

According to Real Clear Politics, Kasich is currently tied for 12th (aka: last)  place with Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal among potential Republican candidates for U.S. president.

That’s slightly better than the chance of ACTUALLY being struck by lightning (1 out of 6,250 in your lifetime).  And much better than the 1-in-10 million chance of actually becoming a president of the United States.

But really…. who cares about math when God has you on speed dial?

  • bob

    why is it that gawd only speaks to the stupid?

  • dmoore2222

    Well don’t forget that Johnny Jobs miraculously became Johnny Angel when the jobs thing didn’t work out so well and all that money from ObamaCare in the form of medicaid expansion came to town and poor people suddenly became important. And that other Kasich miracle, kind of like the water into wine thing (I’m sure JC will forgive me for the metaphor) is how Johnny Angel turned public money into private money for JobsOhio. I’m sure the hand of God was all over this stuff. Sheez. What a faker.

  • Mark Schrider

    So, Johnny…You just listening to the voices in your head these days? They make medication for that you know.

  • Cheri L Cain McAllister

    Now that is funny, sad but funny!!!

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