Now that first-tier dead-ender  Donald Rumsfeld   has expressed his preference for a “trained ape” over President Obama on foreign policy (read: everything with Obama’s name on it), there’s word that Republican planners  with wide experience as GOP congressional zookeepers have moved into Dick Cheney’s old underground  cave in Pennsylvania to train an ape to give the keynote speech at the next  presidential  convention.  As one trainer put it: “After much discussion on how to electrify the crowd with a Palin-type Mama Grizzly, we decided to go with upgrading someone from  the army of trained apes that we do have. Rummy also insisted that an ape would more aptly project a president from Kenya.”