Donald Trump, the modern wannabe gold standard for inquiries into birthplaces, reportedly was distressed to learn that Santa Claus was born in Turkey. With a Dutch name. With a sack loaded with entitlements. Right. For a birther with Trump’s credentials, it left him no choice but to demand that Santa be fired.

Of all places, Turkey, which tilts toward secularism with its renowned Grand Bazaar in Istanbul that can be shopper-crazy on most days. Still Santa arrived through the auspices of Saint Nicholas, the 4th Century Christian icon who gave away a lot of stuff. (I’m not sure how Santa ended up with a Dutch name on his birth certificate.)

Santa’s gift to Trump is that it may distract him from further probing of Obama’s birthplace. And he can’t be too happy that references to him as a business “Mogul” suggest his ancestors were… Mongols.