Reacting to a Harper’s Index report that 58 pct. of the cats in America are overweight (Honest!), Republican leaders are urging their plump elected officials to avoid contact with their fat-cat contributors at fancy eateries until the potential image crises blows over. Explained one hefty county chairman, “It won’t look right if we are seen stuffing ourselves at the better restaurants with our big contributors while we are at the same time cutting food stamps.”