From the daily archives: Tuesday, September 24, 2013

In a victory for the city and the state, Pure Romance has announced that they will move forward with a relocation to downtown Cincinnati, despite being rejected for tax credits by a prudish Kasich administration.

The company has outgrown their suburban warehouse facilities and is looking to expand operations. They were initially approved for $108,000 in incentives from Ohio to match $353,000 from Cincinnati, but JobsOhio nixed the deal when they found out that Pure Romance markets relationship enhancements to women.

The new management positions, according to the Enquirer, will pay 41% more than the average job […]

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Reacting to a Harper’s Index report that 58 pct. of the cats in America are overweight (Honest!), Republican leaders are urging their plump elected officials to avoid contact with their fat-cat contributors at fancy eateries until the potential image crises blows over. Explained one hefty county chairman, “It won’t look right if we are seen stuffing ourselves at the better restaurants with our big contributors while we are at the same time cutting food stamps.”

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