OK.  let’s try it this way:  The Grand Old Party has become the Grand Old Put-ons. Pretenders, all.   It has talked for years about broadening its base, possibly even  into Antarctica and the Fiji Islands. (Bad choices since ice is melting and Fiji could be swept under by rising sea water.)  But the Put-Ons never give up.  As Rand Paul, one of the current soul-fathers  of the Put-Ons,  has said:

“The GOP of old has grown stale and moss covered”  and then went on to describe the new gang of ideological frontiersmen as having “need to embrace liberty in both the economic and the personal sphere.”

Unless you have a hangup about Paul’s mystical “personal sphere”,   that might  inspire  you to rid yourself of the fetid moss for something that has been hopelessly elusive so far.

Put-ons?  The way I figure it, all of the GOP babbling  about wrapping itself around your brains has simply been a cover for doing all of the things it does best, to wit:  Hawking its delusional benighted democracy. Not even Barnum, who showcased a live black woman he claimed to be George Washington’s  161-year-old nurse, could rise to the level of the Rustics’ fantasy.

In the Ohio legislature, the mossies  have ignored their electoral problem with women by repeatedly trying to force-feed into law strict abortion limits and the end of state funding for Planned Parenthood. Gov.Kasich signaled his preference by appointing the Ohio Right to Life director to  the state medical board.  At the same time, Atty. Gen. Mike DeWine has continued his religiously driven career goals by attacking contraceptives covered in Obamacare. The intraparty  scrap over Medicaid is so convoluted that these fellows can easily be accused of disguising  their mutual enmity toward the poor.

On gun control,  Kasich says we shouldn’t lift a finger to change anything;  ditto, Sen. Rob Portman, thus bucking the whirlwind from the public.    And what good can we say about the disgraceful efforts by Secretary of State Jon Husted and his Republican base-driven confederates to squeeze the voter rolls as  well as the time to collect signatures on petitions for referendums? These Machiavellian efforts have hardly found a place in the hearts of the state’s minority voters.

Joe Hallett, the Columbus Dispatch’s veteran political columnist, suffers through the spectacles across the street from his office and has decided he’s had enough,  In his latest piece, he crisply wrote:  “These days, the Republican dominated Ohio General Assembly might be unmatched for its production of bad legislation, its devotion to fringe groups and the narrow-minded ideology, and its loyalty  to the lobbies that larder legislative campaign accounts. A void created by weak leadership in the House and Senate has been filled by tea-party bullies and self-serving  independent lobbyists with checkered pasts.”

Bull’s eye, Joe!

Base or no base, things aren’t much different with the  Obama-hating Rustics ill on Capitol Hill.  But I may have to save that for another day before the next meteor wipes out the dinosaurs.