As Joseph already pointed out, the Ohio Republican Party and it’s Chairman Kevin DeWine have been completely hypocritical and have indeed lost all credibility when it comes to misconduct by the party’s officeholders. The news that State Senator Kris Jordan (R-Powell) will not be charged in the domestic event that occurred at his residence adds fuel to this fire. The Jordan story has been popular here in part because a good political scandal is always a traffic magnet, but also because our readers are so passionate on this particular issue. I’ve had some email contact with one and she has agreed to do a guest post on her unique insight into the Jordan situation. I think it’s worthwhile to consider her view and the implications of what happened that night at the Jordan residence. It can be hard for a victim to speak out on the matter and I thank Bonnie for her courageousness in posting this. – Eric
Guest post by Bonnie Bertelson
I have been following the Kris Jordan domestic violence scandal from the first I learned about it from a Plunderbund exclusive report. As the story has unfolded, my thoughts and concerns have largely been on Melissa Jordan’s plight. She is a victim, caught in a cycle of violence from which, it is difficult to break free. I know. I’ve been there.
Many years ago, I was a victim of domestic violence. I managed to break free of the cycle, but not unscathed. Physical, emotional and psychological damage was done and the scars remain. That is why I am compelled to shine light on the dark cycle of domestic violence against women. From my experience, I have come to know that the cycle of domestic violence follows a typical pattern. The pattern consists of five stages, and it doesn’t matter when it happens, or who is involved – the pattern repeats itself. The stages are; the build-up or tensions stage, the abuse stage, the apology stage (motivated by the abuser’s feelings of “guilt” and fear of reprisal), the rationalization stage, and the honeymoon stage. At each stage, the abuser is in full control of himself and is always working to control and isolate his victim. And, with each repeated cycle, an increase in the level of violence is likely to occur. Here’s a brief description of the stages:
BUILD-UP – This stage may last a week, months, or years and typically involves an increase in verbal and minor physical abuse.
ABUSE – Hitting, slapping, kicking, choking, shoving, use of objects or weapons, verbal abuse and threats, sexual abuse.
APOLOGY – The abuser may deny violence; say he was drunk, say he’s sorry.
RATIONALIZATION – The abuser makes excuses and blames the victim for his behavior.
HONEYMOON – The abuser is affectionate and attentive towards the victim; may promise he will never hurt her again.
Now, using information published on the Jordan incident, the stages of domestic violence are easily recognizable (at least they are from my perspective) in their situation:
BUILD-UP – In her 911 call, Melissa says, “…he’s had some drinks, he was pushing me around, throwing stuff.”
ABUSE – Melissa: “This is the first time I ever called you. He’s done this a lot. I can’t put up with it anymore.” “…he was pushing me around, throwing stuff.”
APOLOGY – The Jordans issue a “joint” statement. (I have serious doubts that Melissa was a willing participant in its composition and/or its distribution.)
RATIONALIZATION – Taking no blame or responsibility upon himself, Kris Jordan tells the 911 responding officer, “She got a little upset. Girls do that.”
HONEYMOON – The Jordans took a vacation, leaving on a Wednesday, right after the domestic violence incident occurred.
When I read the transcripts (and listened to the audio recording) of Melissa’s 911 call, place on the night of July 11th, I cried. The tears I cried were a result of having been abused in the past, because, I immediately recognized the fear, confusion, isolation and desperation of one that is a victim of domestic violence. Even the “joint” statement, issued shortly after the incident, is evidence that Melissa Jordan lives in the shadow of an abusive, controlling, misogynist. Her responses and reactions, or lack thereof, throughout this whole ordeal, are consistent with one who has been abused for a long time. She was/is terrified and her abuser should not be allowed to continue in his position of public office, as an Ohio State Senator.
Why has there been no public outcry for Senator Jordan’s resignation? Why have the hypocritical, “family values” Republicans of Ohio’s legislature not demanded it?