Today, John Kasich said we should trust a venture capitalist from California to be in charge of ushering Ohio’s transition from an Ohio Department of Development to a privatized JobsOhio corporate board.

Okay, so what has this venture capitalists brought us into the past?

Fake car phones in the late 1980s.

Phony Cell Phones

There’s only one demographic that could be so fake and empty of a human soul as to go so far as buy a fake status symbol like a mobile car phone in the 1980s.


Yep. Check out the smartphone this guy’s got. . . . it does . . . nothing.  It let you have the ability to scream at people who couldn’t hear you solely so you could look like a massive tool at a bar.

Yep, not only did he sell phoney cell phones, he convinced people to buy them by having them on sale.

Yeah, I know.  I can’t decide whether we should be disgusted at a guy who made money selling nothing or admire him for demonstrated just how vapid and soulless the yuppie generation would show itself to be in order to fit in.  You should have heard them talk about business cards sometime.

Okay, so we have a novelty venture capitalist in charge of our State’s economic development.  That doesn’t mean he isn’t ill prepared for the job that Kasich laid out for him:

Kasich said Kvamme’s job will include sorting out tax incentive and job creation programs and determining which are most effective.

Some of the department’s current programs, such as weatherization, will be moved to other agencies, Kasich said.

Kvamme acknowledged at the news conference that he knows very little about public policy, but said he looks forward to learning that aspect of the job quickly.

(Source: Washington Post/Associated Press)

Yeah… this should end well.