Now that small government conservative Republicanism has returned to Ohio, what better way to celebrate than, you know, take a job in state government! And we all have our favorite lifelong suckling of the government teat, homeland security consultant and former Kasich staffer Jon Keeling. Word on the street is that returning to Ohio to clamp his lips onto the Ohio taxpayer’s flacid nipple is so important to Keeling, he’s already made this picture the screen saver on his government paid for cell phone.
So we’re taking nominations for the inevitable landing of Jon Keeling into Ohio state government, complete with a budget to redecorate. Now remember, it’s important for a blinding hypocrite the likes of Jon Keeling to have the MOST palatial digs every nickel Ohio’s Republican created Dickensian beggar taxpayer population can afford, so don’t be shy! Remember, parasites don’t stop because all of a sudden they can’t squeeze blood from a turnip. Republicans learned that a long time ago.
Corner office mandatory. Must have several staff, preferably hotties. Gender probably doesn’t matter, you know these rascally Republicans!! A state car and driver is a given, what with spending a solid year fellating Tom Charles and all that. If there is some way Ohio taxpayers can be on the hook for Keeling’s residence, that’s really what we’re going for. Sucklings of the government teat like living large, can’t blame ’em.
Welcome back to Ohio, Keeling! Nominations are now open.