Given the frantic phone calls, e-mails, and tweets directed to us, you apparently noticed that our site went down last night. So, you’ve been hitting refresh all day wondering… what the heck happened? Did the Ohio Republican Party launch a denial of service attack? Did our site get hacked?
I’ll tell you what happened. We just wanted to remind you all how much we mean to your life. You don’t think we’ve found out that you’ve been sneaking around reading other blogs behind our backs, but we’ve caught ya! So we thought we’d take the site down just to remind you how much we mean to you. Yeah, we’re that passive-aggressive!
Okay, no really, here’s what happened. At about 8 p.m., our site went down because our domain registry expired. How could we let something like that happen? Well, it turns out that Eric thought the e-mails about renewing our domain registry was really about renews his star registry, because, yeah, we give each other crappy gifts like this. (Although Tim thinks it never gets old to call us up and tells us when one of our stars is passing through Uranus… he’s right… it’s still funny.)
Ok, so Eric thought that the one bill we get every three years was to spam to renew a novelty gift. No bad. Then, I’ll be honest, we probably wasted half an hour doing “domain” jokes:
M.E.: Who’s domain.
Eric: You domain.
M.E.: No, YOU domain.
What else do you expect from a crew that gives each other freaking stars as presents, still make astronomical jokes about Uranus, and forget to renew their domain registry before it expires?
So then we called up George Soros to find out why the heck he hadn’t paid to renew our domain name. First, Mr. Soros acted really incredulous as to how we got his phone number (Markos is a squealer.) Then, he acted like he didn’t have anything to do with his site. I mentioned to him that Glenn Beck says all the time that he’s behind every word any liberal or progressives says, so we just kind of figured that he owed us since Glenn wrote in on a chalkboard. After all, that’s, like, permanent, and stuff. It’s what teachers do to teach ya stuff.
Mr. Soros claimed that you can’t believe everything you see or hear from Glenn Beck, and then, despite having more loose money in his couch cushions than we have in our bank accounts, kind of hung up or got disconnected as Eric and I asked him again for his credit card number.
So, Eric paid the domain renewal fee. And although the Internet allowed that payment to be instantly processed, and can even produce instantly on demand video of a woman flipping bowls while riding a unicycle:
(You didn’t believe me?)
We had to wait until our domain registry updated DNS servers what the IP address was to find our content. Content that it could find less than an hour earlier.
Machines are dumb. We’re back now. Sorry.