Sometimes, when you browse the Google that John Kasich invented while ending special interests influence in Washington forever, you come across a headline like this that if you’re like me gets your imagination running wild with possibilities  Like how exactly does one disrupt mating?  By patrolling Moth Makeout Point?  Calling them randomly?

But despite dreaming up six impossible things by breakfast, I never imagined that Ohio would fight a gypsy moth infestation with a chemical that turns the male moths gay, which sounds like a weird plot line from a political satire sci-fi film or some far-fetched secret scrapped Pentagon weapons project.

And yet, that’s exactly what the State of Ohio is doing…

The Ohio Department of Agriculture says the treatment called SPLAT does not kill the insects but confuses male gypsy moths and makes it difficult for them to find females. Officials say SPLAT is not harmful to birds, plants, pets or humans.

A twin-engine plane will begin in southern Ohio on Thursday, June 10, blanketing tree tops with the treatment. The operation will gradually move north over 13 counties, ending by June 19.

In my house, a bug treatment called SPLAT is also a non-pesticide, but it involves a tennis shoe, not female moth pheromones.

Phil Burress must be freaking out knowing there’s a plague of gay moths about to descend on his community.  Homosexuality being used to end pestilence. How will the Christian right handle this?

(I bet by scaring the residents there that this spray will turn their special snowflakes into one of “teh gays.”)

Any takers?

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  • mvirenicus

    Within a month of moving to minnesota in the 80s I received a letter from the mn dept of agriculture requesting that I allow them to inspect my lawn furniture for gypsy moths because I had moved from a state infested with the moth (ohio). I responded that I had no lawn furniture. I thought the whole thing was kinda funny.

  • baggeroh

    Just more discrimination against gypsies. This isn't old Europe and werewolves were made extinct by the Twilight vamps. I'm going to listen to some Django Reinhart music while sipping a froo-froo drink and cross my legs at the knee.
    (I might have been outside for the first SPLAT)

  • modernesquire

    Like MN has any reason to treat Ohioans like, well, dirty gypsies. BTW, my big bro lives in the Twin Cities now. Fails to see how any moth could survive those winters.

  • modernesquire

    Oh noes! Have been watching more Bravo? Or did you jump right on over to Logo?

  • mvirenicus

    when i return to mn in the next few years, assuming i live that long, i'm going to demand that the mn authorities place me under quarantine until i've been judged fit for civil society again. 🙂

    in regard to the weather, i'll take a mn winter over ours anytime. they get a healthy cold. it's dry and they get plenty of something called sunshine. we don't see the sun in ne ohio from november thru march.

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