Sometimes, when you browse the Google that John Kasich invented while ending special interests influence in Washington forever, you come across a headline like this that if you’re like me gets your imagination running wild with possibilities¬† Like how exactly does one disrupt mating?¬† By patrolling Moth Makeout Point?¬† Calling them randomly?

But despite dreaming up six impossible things by breakfast, I never imagined that Ohio would fight a gypsy moth infestation with a chemical that turns the male moths gay, which sounds like a weird plot line from a political satire sci-fi film or some far-fetched secret scrapped Pentagon weapons project.

And yet, that’s exactly what the State of Ohio is doing…

The Ohio Department of Agriculture says the treatment called SPLAT does not kill the insects but confuses male gypsy moths and makes it difficult for them to find females. Officials say SPLAT is not harmful to birds, plants, pets or humans.

A twin-engine plane will begin in southern Ohio on Thursday, June 10, blanketing tree tops with the treatment. The operation will gradually move north over 13 counties, ending by June 19.

In my house, a bug treatment called SPLAT is also a non-pesticide, but it involves a tennis shoe, not female moth pheromones.

Phil Burress must be freaking out knowing there’s a plague of gay moths about to descend on his community.¬† Homosexuality being used to end pestilence. How will the Christian right handle this?

(I bet by scaring the residents there that this spray will turn their special snowflakes into one of “teh gays.”)

Any takers?

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