Having solved every other problem in Ohio, the Ohio Senate found itself apparently with time to spare, so they decided that they needed to end the non-existent practice of creating human-animal hybrids.


Then they went to Ohio Senate-Lobbyist Summer camp which Senate President Bill Harris is all excited about making a leather wallet and Senate Majority Floor Leader totally expects to kiss his first girl.

What the hell am I supposed to do with an entire stable of centaurs that I was raising to race once slot machines were permitted at horse racing tracks leading to the new problem in horseracing: horses that fail to run because they’re too busy betting (double revenue win!)

What’s ironic about this that this bill is probably supported by some of the very same conservatives who claimed that cockfighting was an inherent constitutional right.

What leads to this kind of legislative decisionmaking in setting priorities?  Did the Senate Republicans have a movie night went awry?  Here’s a news flash Senate GOPers:

Dr Moreau

Of course, my fear is that focus our attention on this issue have left equally important issues unresolved like Ohio’s woeful preparation of a wide scale zombie attack.  We still have nothing in our Ohio traffic codes dealing with time traveling DeLoreans.

At best, all we could charge a Dr. Frankenstein at the Cleveland Clinic is for an abuse of a corpse, but then he’ll likely use some fancy lawyer to point out that if it’s reanimated tissue then its no longer a corpse.  See!  Legal loopholes abound in Ohio law for sci-fiction things that aren’t really happening here.

In fact, the Senate left out a major loophole that the Ohio Association of Mad Scientists (OAMS) has already figured out.  Even if it becomes law, the Senate bill doesn’t ban the creation of human-plant hybrids!

OAMS rendering

In fact, Plunderbund obtained exclusive photographs of The Ohio State University’s perverse experimentation with human-plant hybrids!

(Photo after the jump.  WARNING: Not for the faint of heart.)

OMG, when will someone think of the children?!?

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