Hi Jennifer.? Hope things are going well.? Heard you got a really cool campaign bus – awesome!? I want to take a ride on it someday.?? Anyway, let’s get right to the matter at hand.
Your opponent, Lee Fisher, apparently has become a Republican.? I know, weird, ain’t it?? He’s got the Ohio GOP doing backflips of glee, right wing bloggers are suddenly very proud of Lee Fisher, he’s even got the DSCC jumping when Kevin Dewine says “jump”. Lee Fisher is teabaggging so much these days, I’d start calling his supporters “Leebaggers”, except I can’t really find any supporters for Lee Fisher in the blogosphere.? Lee Fisher is literally the only Democrat who is Leebagging.? Good thing he’s got Jon Keeling in his corner, otherwise Lee would be Leebagging himself.? Eeeww.? Bad image, sorry!
It may seem like you’ve entered a bizarro world, but no, you haven’t entered a bizarro world, it’s gonne be o.k., there is not some bend in the space time continuum which somehow sucked you into a worm hole and spit you out the other side into a parallel universe where up is down, left is right, dudes are speaking in tongues sitting on toadstools petting green parrots and dancing to the 13th Floor Elevators (although that does sound like it’d be a great party, come to think of it).
No, Jennifer, you’ve just gotten far enough into a campaign for Lee Fisher to become Lee Fisher.? That means he’s probably got quite a bit of Leebagging left in him.? You know, the overly produced attack ad, with ominous sounding music and grainy pictures of Jennifer Brunner, probably in black and white, with some paid voiceover douchebag declaring you’re the anti-christ.? We’re in for some high quality Leebagging, Jennifer, better fasten your seatbelts.
Lee Fisher is about to do that thing he does, which is lose.? Nothing you can do about it, really.? Inexorable stuff.? Yeah, the Leebagging is a nice new wrinkle, sure, but that just makes it all the more entertaining!? With enemies like Lee Fisher, who needs friends?
My advice – keep doin’ what you’re doin’.? Laugh it all off.? After a month of Leebagging, it’s Lee Fisher who will be walking the walk of shame, back to his little non-profit which he fleeces to the tune of hundreds of thousands of dollars a year.? He’ll be fine.? Just a bit embarrassed, that’s all.? And after all the Leebagging, Lee fisher will be able to look himself in the mirror the next morning, that’s just who Lee is.? He’s been practicing for decades.
And you’ll be our nominee for US Senate.