So now we?re giving political asylum to German evangelical Christians who want to home school their kids?

What the fuck?

According to the wackjobs at WND the Romeikes and their 5 kids deserve asylum “because of the propaganda included in modern German textbooks that violates the family’s religious beliefs. This includes explicit lessons on sex, the promotion of the occult and witchcraft and an effort to teach children to disrespect authority figures.”

Those must be some school books! I?m assuming the cover of the 3rd grade math book must have a picture of unicorn fucking a witch who is extending her long, green, gnarly middle finger to flip off a police officer.

The problem with the religious persecution argument here is that there is no historical religious tradition or doctrine that supports their assertion about homeschooling as a religious belief or practice. More importantly, the law applies equally to people of all religions so it?s pretty difficult to make the argument that this family is being specifically targeted. And the law itself has been around for something like 80 years and is just being challenged now?

I lived in Germany for a number of years and I?ll agree they have some ridiculous laws. For example you need to take a first aid class before you can apply for your driver?s license. But that?s the way it is there – and if you want your driver?s license then you take the course. Could Christian Scientists claim they are being religiously persecuted because they don?t believe in secular medical treatments? Are we going to give them asylum too?

Hell, let?s reverse the situation…

It turns out the US is the only western country – and one of the only countries in the entire world – with a drinking age of 21. The only other countries that have a drinking age of 21 or higher are almost exclusively nations that have a majority Muslim population like Tajikistan, Oman, United Arab Emirates and Indonesia.

Since my family is Irish Catholic and Irish Catholics have a long tradition of teenage alcohol consumption, can I claim religious persecution by the US government because they keep arresting my teenager for trying to buy a bottle of Jameson?

Honestly I think I have a stronger case here than the German family since I can actually provide a crap load of historical evidence for a hard drinking Irish Catholic tradition and for previous attempts to persecute us for it. For example the temperance movement in the US that resulted in over a decade of Prohibition was nothing more than a Protestant plot to take away my ancestors? God-given right to get shit faced and beat the crap out of each other.

Can the homeschoolers give us any evidence like that? Can they give us any real evidence that homeschooling is part of their religious doctrine or that it?s a time-honored religious tradition or, hell, I?d settle for even a long-standing cultural tradition?

I didn?t think so.

If they could, they would at least have some ground to stand on with their argument. But you can’t just make up new religious traditions – that happen to be against the law in your country – and then suddenly claim you’re being persecuted for them.

Germany is a democracy. The laws are written by democratically-elected legislators. If you don?t like the laws, run for office or – better yet – have another 5 kids and get all 10 of them to go into politics. Or move. Move to the US if you like. We?d love to have you.

But don?t try to claim you deserve some kind of special political asylum here just because you happen to disagree with and refuse to follow the laws in your own country. Breaking a law you don?t agree with doesn?t make you some kind of religious martyr; it just makes you a criminal. And we have enough of those here already.