I try to ignore the “policy” musings of Republican bloggers because they are universally idiotic, ideologically foul, and intellectually bankrupt. ?But in Former John Kasich Staffer Jon Keeling’s case today, I’ll make an exception, because Mr. Every Penny I’ve Ever Collected In My Lifetime Is Taxpayer Money gives me an opportunity to discuss how I plan to govern as a county councillor in Cuyahoga County District 7.

Uttering words that have never occurred to Keeling regarding the taxpayer money that has funded his entire existence, Keeling roots for Ohio to lose federal stimulus money for the high speed rail link proposed between Cleveland and Cincinnati, thus.

I can’t stress how badly I want Ohio to lose this stimulus grant.

I can’t stress how badly Jon Keeling roots for his own government money, but I digress. ?Keeling justifies rooting for jobs to leave Ohio, thus.

There is this thing called capitalism. When something is in demand by the public, it’s built by a business so they can provide a service and profit.

Yes, this thing called capitalism has never inured a penny into Keeling’s pocket, which means both me and capitalism itself find Keeling worthless. ?This has never stopped Keeling from cashing the checks which taxpayers cut him every pay period.

However, I will give Keeling all of his substantive points on opposition to these jobs coming to Ohio, even though I’m sure his points are entirely in error, like all things he spews.

Let’s assume the trains are slow. ?And let’s assume they will be over budget for a long time. ?No, let’s assume these trains will never be on budget, ever. ?Wait. ?I’ll go a few better. ?Let’s assume these trains deliver empty cars with no people in them up and down the state of Ohio, in perpetuity, at a speed of 5 miles an hour.

I DO NOT CARE.

In District 7 of Cuyahoga County, there are tens of thousands of under employed and unemployed people. ?If that stimulus money ?builds a choo-choo that sits still for 30 years and rusts on the tracks, as long as those jobs go to Clevelanders, I DO NOT CARE. ? In fact, if I were county councillor now, I would be going to the mat to make sure the terminus of this train lands in my district, in downtown Cleveland. ?I would want a station as palatial as it can possibly be, requiring every artist, mason, architect, bricklayer, engineer, steelworker, ironworker, pipefitter, electrician, you name it, to spend a decade building the most stunning rail terminal on earth. ?And I wouldn’t give a damn if those trains turned up empty for the rest of my life, every hour on the hour.

Jon Keeling uses his paycheck from federal taxpayer money to spend time fellating his own ideological hard on at the expense of real jobs for Ohioans, to argue that Ohioans should not get the very same money. ?And if anyone like him, or the boss he wishes will employ him with taxpayer money again, John Kasich, stood in this county councillor’s way of getting those jobs into my district, for any reason, let alone their thoroughly vapid and disproven ideology, they’d find their front door surrounded by as many of those unemployed Clevelanders as I could gather, daily, telling him to shove it, until the jobs showed up.

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  • Odd, I just thought your platform was to serve cocktails, smoke weed, and play guitar hero. I had no clue you had actual ideas and shit.

  • i don't play guitar hero, i demand an apology and retraction!

  • I'm very sorry. What I meant to say was play your guitar hero Pete Townsend on the RCA stereo in the upper loft, or treehouse as we ministers call it.

  • scandalous lies. it's called the “man cave”.

  • mvirenicus

    just see if you can get dennis! to change his mind about a commuter rail line between lorain and cleveland. to hades with the rocky river and bay village dorks who wouldn't like the choo-choo! hell,they'd probably use the damned thing to get downtown!

  • cubejockey

    It took me an hour to figure out what county district I was in..

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