As we begin to learn that Tiger Woods has more mistresses in his cell phone than clubs in his er…bag, I simply must comment.

Tiger is a hero of mine, because I play golf, I love golf, and I love watching great sportsmen excel at the most difficult sports.? The only thing harder to do in sport than hit a major league curve ball is hit a golf ball standing still in the direction you intend it to go.? Tiger is better at it than anyone, perhaps ever.? Even if you think watching golf on TV is idiotic, just watch Tiger on a Sunday.? Watching Tiger win golf tournaments is some of the best, most dramatic, entertaining TV you can watch.

A man like Tiger Woods is not odd for cheating on his wife.? What is odd is that Tiger got married in the first place.? I have no idea why Tiger got married.? He’s a young, virile, very hot male, with more money than God, on top of the world of sport, celebrity, and media – to paraphrase John Lennon, he’s bigger than Jesus. Looks to me like Tiger got married because the world decided that Tiger was supposed to get married, because, well, that’s what you do.

If there is ever going to be a concise, hard to refute argument that marriage is an idiotic institution which gays should not wish for but pray they never have imposed upon them, Tiger Woods is IT.?? The only people currently benefiting from Tiger Woods’ marriage are the tabloids.? All others concerned are being put through hell.? And the closer you get to the marriage, the more hell you are going through.

Here’s my advice, Tiger.? Cashier the marriage, admit it was a giant error, and just get on gettin’ jiggy wid it.? Save marriage for when you’re old, tired, and fat, when the femme fatale sharks eyeing your bank account as much as they are eyeing your package are a bit more fucking obvious.? And do it in time for The Masters.

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