As we begin to learn that Tiger Woods has more mistresses in his cell phone than clubs in his er…bag, I simply must comment.

Tiger is a hero of mine, because I play golf, I love golf, and I love watching great sportsmen excel at the most difficult sports.? The only thing harder to do in sport than hit a major league curve ball is hit a golf ball standing still in the direction you intend it to go.? Tiger is better at it than anyone, perhaps ever.? Even if you think watching golf on TV is idiotic, just watch Tiger on a Sunday.? Watching Tiger win golf tournaments is some of the best, most dramatic, entertaining TV you can watch.

A man like Tiger Woods is not odd for cheating on his wife.? What is odd is that Tiger got married in the first place.? I have no idea why Tiger got married.? He’s a young, virile, very hot male, with more money than God, on top of the world of sport, celebrity, and media – to paraphrase John Lennon, he’s bigger than Jesus. Looks to me like Tiger got married because the world decided that Tiger was supposed to get married, because, well, that’s what you do.

If there is ever going to be a concise, hard to refute argument that marriage is an idiotic institution which gays should not wish for but pray they never have imposed upon them, Tiger Woods is IT.?? The only people currently benefiting from Tiger Woods’ marriage are the tabloids.? All others concerned are being put through hell.? And the closer you get to the marriage, the more hell you are going through.

Here’s my advice, Tiger.? Cashier the marriage, admit it was a giant error, and just get on gettin’ jiggy wid it.? Save marriage for when you’re old, tired, and fat, when the femme fatale sharks eyeing your bank account as much as they are eyeing your package are a bit more fucking obvious.? And do it in time for The Masters.

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  • Tiger Woods is the reason marriage is an idiotic institution? A concise hard to refute argument? What utter nonsense.

    Here's my argument that is not only concise, but bloody well hard to refute: John and Annie Glenn.

  • John

    Thanks for writing this. People are as faithful as their options, period. Someone on top of the world has many many more options than the tiger-hating, fat, bald married guy who is hurling verbal swords at tiger in order to impress his fat, bitchy wife (whom is simply the best he can do).

    Furthermore, this entire scandal, for those who are observant, is a much more accurate indictment on the general public than on Tiger (based upon the publics reaction). When are we all going to quit evading our true nature and quit buring others at the stake for acting out on what we are too afraid to act upon or even admit desires for?

    I also suspect that there is a sizable portion of the public that is glad to see Tiger get burned just out of sheer jealousy and hatred. Most people are miserable losers who were too lazy or scared to attempt to fulfil their dreams and they hate the successful for reminding them of their own self-chosen worthlessness. To me, those people don't even exist. They are not even worth my thoughts.

  • lgw

    Um, so there's no possibility that Tiger married Elin because he loved her and wanted a family? Why is it so inconceivable that a man who happens to be a famously wealthy, talented athlete might also want to be a husband and father?

    Tim, you know I love you but you are spouting utter nonsense. I suspect it comes from some dissatisfaction with the state of your own personal life. You have never been married, so how can you be so sure there is nothing beneficial or positive about the institution? Please stop raging against things you know nothing about. It does not flatter you.

  • “Why is it so inconceivable that a man who happens to be a famously wealthy, talented athlete might also want to be a husband and father?”

    because at the moment, Tiger's been porking everything that walks.

  • It is utter nonsense. You'll note no reply to my earlier comment and also no retraction of this stupid statement: “If there is ever going to be a concise, hard to refute argument that marriage is an idiotic institution which gays should not wish for but pray they never have imposed upon them, Tiger Woods is IT.”

  • the only reason anyone is getting hurt in this situation is the marriage. no marriage, no hurt.

    as for john and annie glenn, yes, let's take the single most perfect depiction of all things marriage and apply it to all marriages. makes total sense.

  • Well, since you are fond of the hasty generalization I thought I'd play it back at you. Just admit your statement was fatuous and we'll be done with it.

  • not admitting anything. i think marriage is idiotic. seen too much suffering because of it to conclude otherwise. one might say the same thing about religion, but i wouldn't agree with that conclusion. just my opinion!

  • You can say you think marriage is idiotic. I can say religion is idiotic. It is your opinion and you are surely entitled to it. What you CAN'T say is that the Tiger Woods situation is a concise, hard to refute argument that marriage is idiotic. I just destroyed that argument with 3 words. Refutation was quite easy.

  • How many people think Michelle Obama has been important to the success of our current President? I further submit to Tim that evidence countering his claim that Tiger Woods demonstrates that marriage is idiotic comes in the form of our current President.

    There is no President Obama absent the institution of marriage and his joining with Michelle into that institution.

  • “the only reason anyone is getting hurt in this situation is the marriage. no marriage, no hurt.” – yet another ridiculous statement. Had Tiger and Elin been in a committed relationship absent having been married there would be no hurt? Do you even believe these things you write sometimes?

  • That sure was a long rant about people who don't even exist.

  • Shameless Agitator

    “no marriage. no hurt.”

    Come on, Tim. That's a specious argument. Maybe before Tiger and Elin had kids, it would have flown. Now he's got two kids to worry about. He needs to start acting like the man and the father his kids need him to be.

  • mvirenicus

    i think there are too many people running around with their “good guy badges” trying to prop up the idiotic institution of marriage.

  • Yes. We married guys do so in order to have a “good guy badge”. Sigh. Please try harder at this commenting thing.

  • Buddy Toledo

    Came here to read about the Ohio legislature and I get sucked into a Tiger Woods argument. That proves something.

    Why do we presume to know what other people's marriages should be like? There are lots of successful marriages where fidelity isn't valued. That might not be your faith's definition of a successful marriage, but it may work out fine for other people.

    While it is ridiculous to say that this proves marriage is a bad thing, I think it is a little less ridiculous to point out that episode once again shows that marriage means a lot of different things to different people, and that a lot of that is tied in with religion. So government should get out of the marriage business altogether and just recognize civil unions for everybody, and provide the benefits of civil unions to everybody. Then people would be free to get married by their church or not. Churches would be free to limit their marriages to certain types of marriages, like heterosexual or monogamous marriages.

  • Totally and completely agree.

    PS – We tend to mix it up here a bit. Ohio legislative issues can be boooring. You'll notice some of our most commented posts are sports or pop culture stuff. It is telling. Thanks for stopping by.

  • Tudorman

    I'd take it one step further – eliminate all benefits and privileges to couples or “spouses” (or whatever you call the other person in a civil union). The state should treat all people the same, whether they are single, married, or partnered with their neighbor's goat.

  • mvirenicus

    did i say anything about married guys? the “good guy badge” can be worn by anybody who attempts to bolster their own ego and perceived social standing by taking an altruistic stance like defending an antiquated and miserable institution like marriage. sorry i wasn't more clear on the first go-around.

  • Unless you are clear and know on what exactly you are trying to “save” in your marriage, the answer to “How can I save my marriage?” will never be found. Saving your marriage involves saving the relationship you and your spouse have rather than the marriage certificate.

  • Unless you are clear and know on what exactly you are trying to “save” in your marriage, the answer to “How can I save my marriage?” will never be found. Saving your marriage involves saving the relationship you and your spouse have rather than the marriage certificate.

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