It’s getting to the point where there are really only are a small handful of things a person needs to confess to believe to be considered a real conservative.

Actually, we might be down to one. If you claim to believe that gay people should’t be allowed to marry, then you are now officially a conservative. And nothing else you do or say changes that.

It doesn’t really seem to matter any more if your entire life is spent NOT living every other conservative value. You can get fake boobs, parade around in your underclothes for money and even record a video of yourself having sex with someone who isn’t your husband.

You can cheat on your wife with prostitutes, or your staff members or some chick in Argentina.

You can generally engage is whatever kind of ridiculous and immoral behavior you want. Behavior that flies in the face of everything that is supposed to be good and sacred about marriage. As long as you claim to believe that two loving people who happen to both be of the same sex don’t deserve the same rights as you then… Bam! You’re a conservative.