Why won’t Glenn Beck address the rumor that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990?

This site exists to try and help examine the vicious rumour that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990. We don’t claim to know the truth — only that the rumour floating around saying that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 should be discussed. So we’re going to do our part to try and help get to the bottom of this.

Why won’t Glenn Beck deny these allegations?

I mean, I don’t know if Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990 or not, but until he addresses it, it seems like the only reasonable response is to believe the rumor. I mean, there’s even a totally legit police report:

So why hasn’t Glenn Beck addressed the allegations that Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990? He must have something to hide, since he hasn’t presented evidence that he didn’t rape and murder a young girl in 1990.

(BTW, the reaction to this on the right is hi-lar-i-ous.)

 
  • Bob Loblaw

    You raise an interesting question. Why doesn’t Glenn Beck take 5 minutes to address the question of whether Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990? It’s almost like he’s trying to hide something — it really makes me wonder if Glenn Beck raped and murdered a young girl in 1990.

  • Ryan

    This is wrong. I hate it when the GOP uses these kinds of tactics to get ahead and I really hate it when our side uses them. It’s tacky and not worthy of our great democracy.

  • Not since Joe McCarthy shuffled off this mortal coil in 1957 has anyone made a career by accusing people of being communists. Glenn Beck has resurrected the practice. Not only has he found a cabal of secret communists, he has uncovered an entire communist corporation chock full of commies. The name of this company, you may ask?

    THE NATIONAL BROADCASTING COMPANY!

    You heard me right, boys and girls. The network that gave us Uncle Miltie and Ma Perkins has apparently been secretly sending subliminal messages endorsing Marxist doctrine since it was formed in 1926. This would make perfect sense to me. Every time I watched the Rockford Files I had an unexplainable desire to read Das Kapital. But seriously, folks. Twenty years after the fall of the Soviet Union, red baiting not only seems silly, it’s also kind of nuts. It’s not-at-all surprising that an organization would give this idiot a forum (after all, he’s on FOX Noise). What’s really stunning is the fact that his ratings are relatively high and that so many Americans take his word as gospel.

    All kidding aside, half-witted ideologues are a dime a dozen. What separates Glenn Beck from his peers is the fact that he is doing some serious damage to the country he professes to love so much. For all of the comparisons to the Nazis he likes to make with respect to Liberals, Beck’s program has much in common with Adolf Hitler’s 1923 screed, Mein Kampf. Eighty-six years ago, Hitler attempted to arouse the anger of his fellow Germans by spouting half truths and utter nonsense – exactly what Glenn Beck is doing in 2009. So much of the insane dialogue that has been spewed forth at these Town Hall meetings across the country in recent weeks might have been lifted straight from a transcript of Beck’s program.

    Beck and his twisted ilk have done the impossible. They have deflected the blame for America’s current economic distress (from where it should be aimed) toward a man who is trying to clean up the mess that was created – in large part – by people like Glenn Beck. They have also let loose with a vengeance the very worst angels of the American nature. Opening this Pandora’s box was relatively easy. Closing it might prove to be a bit of a problem.

    Deep in their hearts
    They do believe
    That they shall undermine someday….

    Tom Degan
    Goshen, NY
    tomdegan@frontiernet.net

  • You’re missing the point, Ryan. It’s not serious; it’s intended as a satire. A completely over-the-top satire.

  • The Codgemeister General

    So… I’m confused. DID Glenn Beck rape and murder a young girl in 1990?

  • Ryan,

    STFU please.

    Thanks.

  • I’m a personal friend of Glenn Beck: There is no way he would ever rape or murder anybody. It’s just not his way.

    So liberals quit punishing this great American for the “crime” of asking difficult questions such as whether our illegal-immigrant president is a racist voodoo priest.

  • glenn beck has personal friends? hard to decide who’s more insane in that transaction.

  • Time to recalibrate the sarcasm detection meter, Tim!

  • i’m starting to confuse even myself……these rumors must be completely true then!

  • Yes. It’s the only explanation given Glenn’s silence on the matter and ESPECIALLY given the MSM will NOT report on this. Looking guiltier all the time!

  • I heard a rumor that the writers at StopTheACLU are actually illegitimate children from the same-sex union of Paul Lynde and Genghis Khan during a time travel mishap, and they haven’t addressed this…

    Hmm… nope. Still too subtle.

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