Availability is one of the biggest hurdles to becoming an addict. You want to know why so many people are nicotine addicts? Availability is the answer. Cigarettes are available everywhere, 24 hours a day. So addiction is easy and relatively cheap.

Not so much with something like OxyContin, which is a highly controlled, Schedule II narcotic. It might be easy to get your hands on a few pills from your friend after his appendectomy, but if you really want to be an addict you need a stable supply of the stuff.

So when I first read about Track Palin’s OxyContin addiction I was a bit skeptical.

It seemed kind of a stretch to believe that a 17 year old kid, regardless of his family’s political connections, could get his hands on a steady stream of hardcore prescription pain killers.

It turns out it was easier than I expected.

Enter Levi Johnston (and his drug dealing mother).

It looks like Levi Johnston was more than just the local high school hockey star and the father of Bristol (Track’s sister) Palin’s unborn child.

It looks like Levi was the kid you wanted to know if you needed a solid and reliable OxyContin connection at Wasilla High School. I wonder how many of the other kids knew that his awesome connection was actually his own mother?

I guess Wasilla really is one of those real, honest, pro-America small towns that Sarah Palin was talking about.

And I guess these are some of those real Americans. The good and decent folk who love their kids and their country. The Joe-sixpacks and the hockey moms who make this country great (by using their hockey-star sons to sell illegal drugs to the local politician’s kids.)

And here I was thinking the Palins were nothing more than a bunch of oddly named, drug snorting, teen-sex-having, hypocritical Alaskan hillbillies.

 

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