From the monthly archives: December 2008

Columbus Monthly magazine has selected Cindy Stankoski and Vanessa Stout as their persons of the year…


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Seriously. Tripp. Two P’s.

Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston

No word on why they named the kid Tripp. But I just emailed the Alaska Governor’s Office with that question.

Until I hear otherwise, I’m running with the theory that Bristol and Levi named their kid after their favorite brand of jeans, Tripp, sold exclusively at Hot Topic.

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Chip Saltsman wants to be the next Chairman of the Republican National Committee. His big plan to win over the hearts and minds of other Republicans: release a Christmas CD containing the racist song “Barack the Magic Negro.”

I suppose I should be angered by this action, but I’m actually pretty happy about it. I love to see Republican party nutjobs get national press for their extremist views. In only helps convince moderate voters that the GOP has become a party of radical social conservatives.

Speaking of radical social conservatives, Ohio’s own extremist Ken Blackwell actually defended Saltsman. […]

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Availability is one of the biggest hurdles to becoming an addict. You want to know why so many people are nicotine addicts? Availability is the answer. Cigarettes are available everywhere, 24 hours a day. So addiction is easy and relatively cheap.

Not so much with something like OxyContin, which is a highly controlled, Schedule II narcotic. It might be easy to get your hands on a few pills from your friend after his appendectomy, but if you really want to be an addict you need a stable supply of the stuff.

So when I first read about Track Palin’s […]

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Bristol Palin’s baby was supposedly due on the 18th. Five days overdue now and counting.

Readers have been suggesting names for the new addition to Palin family so I thought I’d post some of them while we wait for more news.

Hanlon suggests Winchester, Grunt, and Shoulderpads. I wish I’d thought of Winchester, that’s a great name!

J-Dog has an extensive list going including Starr (after Ken), Algaem, Naugle, Wurzelbacher or Plumber, Lichen, Liverwort, Lemongrass and Nugent.

Zamboni seems to be the most popular one so far. Followed by Maverick.

Personally, I’m still thinking it’s going to […]

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The final IG reports related to Marc Dann are out but I don’t think anyone is really surprised.

Dann misused campaign funds and abused state resources and helped out his friends and family with money and gifts.

It’s still worth reading just to see the extent to which Dann abused the system and his position, but at the end of the day the IG report just confirmed what we already knew: Marc Dann is a sleazy dirtbag who will never, ever, ever hold political office again.

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The Mike Huckabee Comedy Hour

On December 22, 2008 By

I keep recording “Huckabee”, Mike Huckabee’s talk show on the Fox News Channel, because it really is comedy gold. There is so much funny stuff in there that I’d like to write about. I really wish I could sit all the way through an episode and record all of the humor for you.

Of course, it isn’t intended to be comedy. But every time I watch it I end up laughing my ass off.

It is really low budget – like one of those day-time talk shows or one of those infomercials you see late at night. It has a […]

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I spent the day travelling home from Spokane Washington after a record snowfall hit the Northwest yesterday. A lot of people are going to be sleeping on airport floors tonight and if I believed in a God I’d be thanking her furiously right now for getting me home on time.

Anyway, while spending the whole day travelling I missed a couple of stories that deserved my commentary…

1. Rob Blagojovich and his hair gave a press conference claiming he is innocent and will fight to the end to prove it. Bullshit. I’m taking bets right here and now that this […]

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Happy Birthday Little Baby Hitler!

On December 18, 2008 By

If I ran a bakery and some racist hick called me up asking me to make a birthday cake for his son, whose name just happens to be Adolf Hitler, I would enthusiastically respond, “Absolutely! Would you like all white frosting?”

And when they arrived to pick up their order I would hand them a dark chocolate cake frosted with a big, gay rainbow bearing the words: Happy Bar Mitzvah Adolph Goldstein.

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Blagojevich Names His Hairbrush

On December 16, 2008 By

I literally laughed out loud as I read this on a crowded airplane early this morning:

Mr. Blagojevich, 52, rarely turns up for work at his official state office in Chicago, former employees say, is unapologetically late to almost everything, and can treat employees with disdain, cursing and erupting in fury for failings as mundane as neglecting to have at hand at all times his preferred black Paul Mitchell hairbrush. He calls the brush “the football,” an allusion to the “nuclear football,” or the bomb codes never to be out of reach of a president.

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