Tony Perkins, the christofascist, homophobic asshat who runs the Family Research Council, is thoroughly fucking confused as usual. And he isn’t the least bit embarrassed to share his confusion with the rest if us.

In his God-as-Santa-Claus fantasy, there is a God with a big, white beard who personally tracks the actions and thoughts of every person in the world. When those people do what God wants, they are rewarded. When they don’t, they are punished.

The current economic problems, therefore, must have been caused by people on Wall Street pissing off God

While the economy clearly is at the forefront of voter priorities, conservative Christians also draw a connection between traditional social issues like abortion and gay marriage and the economy, said Tony Perkins, president of the Washington-based Family Research Council.

“As there’s a breakdown in the family and the family weakens, it’s only logical it will hit Wall Street,” Perkins said.

I have a pretty simple way of testing his theory…

Let’s do a quick survey:

1. Do you support abortion rights?
2. How much value has your 401K lost in the past year?

If Tony is right, then people who support abortion rights should have lost tons of cash while those good, anti-choice Christians can expect divine intervention to protect their investments.

I have a feeling the numbers are going to be pretty close.

I just thought of something else… we might have to add another question:

1.5: do you have a 401K?
a. Yes.
b. No. I don’t need to save for retirement because the Rapture is coming.

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