Yesterday I wrote about the the nazi candidate from South Carolina. The presidential candidate whose platform is based on kicking all non-white people out of the United States.

But he’s not the only nut-job running for president.

While researching him, I also came across a few other really “interesting” independent candidates that are also running for president in 2008.

Cris Ericson – Marijuana Party – Vermont
An anti-abortion, anti-immigration wing-nut who likes to smoke pot

cris-ericson.jpg

From a recent interview with Ms. Ericson:

  • she hates partial birth abortion because it is “murder”
  • she thinks we should kick all immigrants out of our country because they are stealing jobs from homeless americans
  • she believes “Education must be free for all grade levels, for college, for medical school, for law school, etc.”
  • she wants biased websites to stop deleting her posts
  • she insists that marijuana must be legalized because it “is fun for adults; and adults need to have fun after a long, hard week at work.”

Jack Grimes – United Fascist Union – Pennsylvania
A fascist Hick From Wilkes-Barre, PA who likes to wear funny hats and can’t write worth a damn

jackgrimes.jpg

From his purpose statement:

The United Fascist Union exists to promote a revival of the Republican Commonwealth of Imperial Rome and stand against liberalism, public corruption, decadence and Democracy in all the evil forms they manifest themselves in. (see what I mean about his writing skills!)

And, from his Statement of Candidacy:

To correct the flaws in modern society the United Fascist Union recommends: Halting the monopolies on utilities; imposing a strict censorship on the press; halting urban sprawl; and enacting rules of public conduct which police would rigidly enforce.

Jonathon “The Impaler” Sharkey – Vampire, Witches & Pagan Party – New Jersey
A former wrestler who promises to impale all “CHILD MOLESTORS, RAPISTS, KILLERS, DRUG DEALERS AND TERRORISTS”

theimpaler.jpg

According to his official campaign myspace website:

MY NAME IS JONATHON “THE IMPALER” SHARKEY AND I AM RUNNING FOR THE PRESIDENCY IN 2008…………. MANY OF YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN ME ON THE NEWS OR HEARD ME ON THE RADIO. I AM ASKING FOR EVERYONE TO PLEASE FORGET ABOUT MY RELIGIOUS BELIEFS. YES I AM A SATANIC VAMPYRE, AND A HECATE WITCH……. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM RUNNING ON………. IT’S VERY SIMPLE, IF YOU WANT TO LIVE IN PEACE AND HAVE CHILD MOLESTORS, RAPISTS, KILLERS, DRUG DEALERS AND TERRORISTS IMPALED, INSTEAD OF GETTING OFF EASY THEN VOTE FOR ME. IT’S THAT SIMPLE… I WILL BRING AMERICANS PEACE OF MIND…I AM ALSO THE SUBJECT OF AN INDEPENDENT MOVIE DOCUMENTARY ABOUT MY RUN…WWW.IMPALERTHEMOVIE.COM…CHECK IT OUT…

 
  • As a rule of thumb, I’m generally anti-Fascist… but that’s some kickin’ headgear. Do party members get to wear it? Or just the fingermen?

  • Wow.

    Just Wow.

    WOW.

  • Perusing on this guy is more fun than a Dave Hickman Hickmania thread tangent. So far this is my favorite:

    “The United Fascist Union will not discriminate on the basis of race, color, sex, creed, national origin or disability, provided that the applicant is a conservative of national origin. ”

    We won’t discriminate. Unless of course, we feel like discriminating…

    No, just found this:

    “The main objectives of the United Fascist Union shall be: (a) To institute a military Dictatorship form of government over the Earth.”

    Jack dreams big. Jack wants to rule the PLANET.

    It’s either a joke or mental illness. Or both.

  • “The Impaler” isn’t much better. A “SATANIC VAMPYRE, AND A HECATE WITCH”. That makes no sense, and will probably cost him the Religious Right vote. OTOH, his tough-on-crime approach to punishment (impaling? Yikes) should appeal to people like Naugle. So…

    Ms. Ericson is just a garden-variety crazy compared to these other two.

  • The United Fascist Union moved the national headquarters out of Wilkes-Barre years ago, though we still own the Benito Mussolini Building and have grottoes in Scranton and Wilkes-Barre. Director Grimes made neither of the 2008 sites himself. Joanne Parker made the one you list and, I created the one I’m posting here. Jason Peterson of the Wisc. U.F.U. and, Mr. G’s running mate Eduardo Rios, made the 2004 sites.
    Hail Grimes!
    Heather Goldsmith
    UNITED FASCIST UNION
    P.O.B. 2209
    Elkton, MD 21922-2209

  • Atten Eric:

    It’s no joke to those of us who belong to the United Fascist Union, I can tell you that.

    VOTE FASCIST 2008!!!

  • Thanks for the corrections, Heather.

    It sounds like you are seriously committed to this cause.

    However, if you want others to take you and your group seriously, then you might want to talk to Mr. Grimes about his choice of head ware.

    The roman war helmet thing is really funny.

    Also, would it hurt if he smiled in his photos?

    Then people might think: well, he’s a military dictator- but at least he’s a HAPPY military dictator.

  • I will agree with you on one thing, Heather: “this country can?t afford another piece of human shit like that dirty bastard Bush “

  • We no longer use the term Dictator. If you’ll note on the sites Sally (Joanne) Parker and I made, we refer to Mr. G. as the Director & C.E.O. of the United Fascist Union. Director Grimes means a dictator in the Roman sense of the word, like Julius Caesar, an elected official who has a set term in office, Americans think in terms of tyrants like Hitler or Stalin.

    Look at his picture on Project Vote Smart. 0ur candidate will not be wearing the traditional black-shirt or the Roman helmet to any functions connected with the 2008 election.

    I came into Mr. G’s service as part of a project I was doing for Kings College about candidates from Pennsylvania, during the 2000 election and, moved in with him three weeks later. I got an A on the project but, never finished because we moved to Maryland.

    Hail Grimes!

  • Att’n Joseph:

    People make fun of Mr. G. but you know he works very hard to expose 9/11 as a fraud. He has always been one of the strongests voices against this madness in Iraq.
    When we were still living in Wilkes-Barre, he was invited (by non-fascist, anti-war groups) to speak at their rallies on Public Square because of Director Grimes rep as a great speaker.
    The Citizens Voice, never published anything he ever said about implosions or bogus terrorism. They dubbed me “that certain goth chick who follows Jackson Grimes around like a puppy”.

    Vote Fasc. 08
    THE GOTHIC WITCH

  • The very definition of a fascist government is one “led by a dictator having complete power.”

    There are no “CEOs” under fascism.

    There are no “Directors” under fascism.

    And, most importantly, there are no Unions under fascism.

  • The UNITED FASCIST UNION is built upon a blended ideology, it is NOT an old style Fascist party like you might think. Then, again, it’s probably truer to Benito Mussolini’s original intent than any other fascist group in existance today.

    Union as in Sir. 0swald Mosley’s “Union” 0f British Fascist’s, not as intended by labor fanatics.

    Jack Grimes has spoken out against Trade Unions in the past and I’m sure he will do so again. We maintain Il Duce’s position regarding the labor fanatics who organize Trade Union’s.

  • Btw – Have you saw Jack Grimes films on the Internet Archive at, http://www.archive.org? Go to Candidates, Grimes 04 & 00, “Phoenix Up from The Ashes” should pop up.

    The breaks between segments, where Director Grimes drinks a cup of tea, that was my idea. I also recommended he smoke a small cigar at the end, instead of the bulky type he usually buys.

  • A “blended ideology” is right!

    You claim to be “concerned about … restrictions placed on the general public” and “attacks on personal freedoms and liberties”.

    But you support “imposing a strict censorship on the press” and “enacting rules of public conduct which police would rigidly enforce.”

    That, to me, sounds like a pretty serious attack on personal freedom!

    And in your statement of purpose you come right out and say:

    “The main objectives of the United Fascist Union” is to “institute a military Dictatorship form of government over the Earth” under which “the people will be regimented, disciplined and controlled.”

    Where’s the personal freedom in THAT?

  • #13: The tea was a really great idea. Not sold on the skinny cigar, though. I was thinking more like packed pipe. Old school. An old Butz-Choquin of some sort.

  • did you just say butts chokin’ pipe?

    huh huh huh

  • Anyway, Brian sent me this link which does seem to prove that, while Grimes may want to be a fascist dictator, he’s not a racist and if you accuse him of being a racist he will FUCK YOU UP.

    When Grimes ran for President in 2000, there was a skinhead who was spreading taboo doctrine around Scranton. He was warned once, he didn’t listen. He was found with his fingers broken. This man continued to spread doctrine that was not acceptable. His mother was raped and he then not only shut his mouth but, also left town.

    You don’t FUCK with JACK GRIMES BECAUSE HE WILL FUCK YOU BACK HARDER, especially now that he sees he has nothing to loose.

  • Mr. Grimes, speaks of providing the American people with Civil Rights & Civil liberties under the law. There always has to be law and order or else there would be total anarchy. There’s no perfect freedom under the law, yet law is our pass to liberty and a happy life in this world.

    Blowing up buildings, then claiming terrorists did it, the way Bush & Co. did to impose a fictional tyranny on the masses makes them 0utlaws. So, it’s not a contradiction in terms when the U.F.U. mentions “Rules 0f Public Conduct”, yet objects to the awful things the rotten Bush regime has done to deprive the public of every freedom. 0rganize and control the masses yes but, not to the point of slavery and torture.

    Sally Joanne, wrote the bit about censorship. What Grimes actually meant was something like an FFC to force newspapers to play fair with the common people. I tried to tell him NOT to go with censorship, as people wouldn’t understand but, he wouldn’t listen. 0h well, maybe he won’t reprint, the “Jack Grimes Statement 0f Candidacy”, for this election.

    Hail Grimes!

  • Joseph:
    Btw. I tried to find the post you mentioned, it seems to have been removed.

    I suspect it was posted by an enemy of the U.F.U. Mr. Grimes has openly endorsed importing Canadian Hate Laws in the past and the racist fringe hate him for it. It could be lies planted by some racist organization, all racists are liars.

    At any rate it seems to have gone, so I can’t comment on it.

    VOTE FASCIST 2008!

  • Pingback: Plunderbund - » My Baby Supports Jonathon The Impaler()

  • Jack Grimes’ Statement of Candidacy

    It is my intention to run for President in the election to be held in November 2008, because I believe we need more political movements in this country which should be every spectrum of the rainbow. I see not only a need for new grass roots movements in this country, but also, for the average man to step into the political arena and take an active role in government.

    A Fascist candidate for President will shake up the driftwood and cause a few minds to get busy. We must break the two-party monopoly in conventional politics in this country if we are to preserve the American people’s Freedom of Choice. We must create new political movements that the masses can polarize around if we are to keep the general public interested in politics, of those, surely one can be Fascist.

    We must end the reign of terror of the capitalist elite, which has driven the middle-class to the brink of extinction and holds the poor down to a loathsome level where they are no better than medieval serfs. Corporate Statism, an economic system under which government and corporate interests cooperate with each other for the betterment and general welfare of the nation, whereby government makes a profit for the people instead of exploiting them is the perfect antidote to capitalism.

    To correct the flaws in modern society the United Fascist Union recommends: Halting the monopolies on utilities; imposing a strict censorship on the press; halting urban sprawl; and enacting rules of public conduct which police would rigidly enforce.

    VOTE FASCIST 2008!! ELECT JACK GRIMES PRESIDENT!!

    Jack Grimes
    Director & CEO of
    the United Fascist Union

  • Help The HomelessRally

    6PM 12/22/07

    Good Evening, Ladies and Gentlemen:

    People talk about how America is the land of opportunity; we say it’s the land of illusions and lies, where people with real potential are hindered, and held down. We say, you can only do what the puppet-master elite will allow you to do in this god-damned country. Which, by the way, is not very much, unless you come from an old monied family, like baby Bush, or move in the right circles, like that slime-ball, Hillary Clinton. Do you honestly believe it is an accident of human nature that the number of homeless American’s is multiplying so rapidly?

    Such an occurrence surely cannot be a coincidence, something else must be going on here. But what? Could it be the planned displacement of the American people by a sadistic cabal of power brokers. If this is the case, what could be the reasoning behind such an agenda be? The planned destruction of the Union of American States from within by the very men who have sworn to protect this country, and uphold its laws?

    We do know, that many homeless people are substance abusers. A little-known fact is, as the head of the CIA, old Bush used his position to flood America, and Canada with narcotics from South America. This was done with the intent of dumbing-down the general public so that they would be perfect control beasts of burden, and helpless loafers, who would never offer any resistance to Big Brother.

    Another factor contributing to the rapid rise in the number of homeless people in this region is a lack of cost-effective housing for poor Americans. With rents averaging $500 to $600 dollars per unit on the DelMarva peninsula low-income families are forced to go on government giveaways, like Section 8, or risk becoming homeless. This too, is part of a programme to bind the masses to the provincial, and the federal governments, as there is no a burger-flipper, working at McDonald’s that can bear the cost-of-living.

    A better way to combat poverty would be to abolish minimum wage, then reestablish it at just under $1 an hour, and at the same time, cut back the government dole. This would accomplish four things: 1. force down the cost-of-living; 2. reverse inflation; 3. put more money in circulation; and 3. create jobs. This would actually turn America into a land of opportunity, and offer than every man a chance to be all that he can be. This is a far better alternative than building more soup houses, and homeless shelters across the U.S.A., and Canada; because all of these establishments breed is degenerates, and parasites.

    Perhaps, the biggest part of the problem is human nature itself. Roosevelt established patterns with programmes he started in the 1930’s; and Johnson’s “Great Society” programme of the 1960’s created more freebies. So we’ve got a much greater problem now, ” GENERATIONAL DEPENDENCY”, throughout this country. It is part of human nature, mayhaps,, it is a defect, to take what is freely given. Those who wish to take away your liberties understand this, and now, so do you; which evens up the playing field if you will use the knowledge, organize yourselves, and defend your rights.

    The United Fascist Union wishes to teach you how to be men, how to stand on your own two feet, and how to think independently. It is our hope, every American can find his or her own True Will activating the Star within himself. In other words, we are offering you a hand up, instead of a handout. Put our party in government, and Americans will have security, jobs, and bread on the table. Remember folks, fascism brought peace, plenty, and prosperity to Italy, and Iraq under Benito Mussolini, and Saddam Hussein; and it can do the same for us in America.

    While we are thinking about Benito Mussolini, and Saddam Hussein, I must tell you friends, there was a most excellent thing that our government was able to do in Italy, and Iraq to improve the common peoples’ lot in life: they made utilities public, and provided them to consumers at cost. In America, everything is about capital gain, and greed; it is not so in a fascist nation. That is why the American voters would be wise to turn the reigns of government over to the United Fascist Union; because we can form a government that actually works for the masses, rather than only exploiting them to the maximum.

    Vote for the United Fascist Union in 2008, and help usher in a new golden age of peace, plenty, and prosperity. Stay the course with the rotten Republicans, and damn Democrats, and future generations will curse the people of our generation. With fascism, we have hope; in the parasitic elite of today, nothing but the seeds of doom loom over our heads.

    Mr. Jack Grimes

    08′ United States Presidential Candidate of the

    United Fascist Union

    City of Elkton

    Province of Maryland

    in the nation-state of America

    United Fascist Union

    P.O.B. 2209

    Elkton, MD 21922-2209

    http://joanne21921.tripod.com/speeches/

    ?2007

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