This one is just insane

Jonathan Lee Riches filed the handwritten complaint over “theft and abuse of my animals” on July 23 in the U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va.

Riches alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and used them for dogfighting operations in Richmond, Va. The complaint goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and ?used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.?

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

?Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,? Riches writes in the complaint.

Riches wants $63 billion dollars ?backed by gold and silver ? delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.

You absolutely must – must must must – read the hand-written complaint. It’s gold Jerry, gold!

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  • Paul Ackerman

    My favorite part is that he has “copyrighted” his name!

  • It’s literally “take your pick” when it comes to your favorite bit. There’s a diamond in practically every sentence.

    I rather enjoyed the demand to have the silver and gold delivered by “UPS (United States Parcel Service)”. RFID chips in collars (not the dogs), buying missiles from Iran, and Vick running a counterfeit merchandising ring selling products bearing the name of the plaintiff.

    It’s brilliant stuff.

  • Wait. Is Dave Hickman giving legal counsel to inmates now? Wow. I mean, if you toss in some profanities, invoke the name of Todd Hoffman, and capitalize more, you’ve got some Hickmania right there!

    It is gold. My favorite has to be “physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes”. Classic phrase.

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