I couldn’t make up something this funny. I’m including all the text because it’s JUST THAT HILARIOUS.

The Sacred Secrets of Saddam’s Super Secret WMDs
26 June 2007

Why do people still believe Saddam had WMDs? Because Jesus tells them so. Well, not Jesus, but his modern disciples.

Rod Parsley, a rising star of charismatic fundamentalism who’s had a heavy impact on national politics, features on his “Breakthrough” program tonight Dr. Perry Stone, an apocalypse scholar who claims top national security sources and Israelis assure him that inspectors discovered enough WMDs in Saddam’s bunkers before the war to destroy the world three times over. Why didn’t he? Because he wanted to give them to his mortal enemy of Iran, using special airplanes — with the seats torn out to make room for more nukes!

It’d be easy to dismiss this kookiness as just that were it not for Parsley’s flock — they’re ordinary Ohioans. His megachurch is one of the most racially-integrated in the country. His followers aren’t classic fundamentalists, but in large part people who might have been liberals once — before Pastor Parsley delivered them the news.

HAHAHAHAA! (PLEASE tell me someone’s TiVo accidentally recorded this show! We need to get it up on YouTube ASAP.)

That airplane bit is hillarious. And the part about destroying the world three times over. But hell, what else would you expect from an “apocalypse scholar”?

We all need to thank Jesus for giving George Bush the strength to save the world from blowing up three times over.

 

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