I just got confirmation this morning that our beloved wingnut momma’s boy Matt Naugle was spotted outside of the Progress Ohio offices just after an event with “Dancer’s for Democracy”, an advocacy group for adult entertainers who are fighting a house bill that would restrict their profession.
Here’s what Matt said when he found out about the press conference:
You would think that such staunch supporters of the nanny state, who want to protect bar employees from being “forced” to work in a smoke-filled environment, would also support legislation to keep dancers far away from patrons who may have unscrupulous and criminal intentions.
Doesn’t actually sound like someone who is about to make the trip down does it? Well, word is that Matty Boy pulled up in a brown late model car (which looked possibly like an import), was recognized by Dave Harding, and sped off with eyes as big as saucers. Dave tells me he can’t really figure out why Matt would stop by so I thought I’d help him out with some answers:
Top ten reasons Matt Naugle might have been at Progress Ohio yesterday:
10. He couldn’t figure out which lane was the right one
9. He wanted to see if Brian could replace his smashed bobblehead
8. He was looking for media advice after his recent TV appearance
7. He heard tacos were being served at the event
6. Carlo LoParo was too busy looking up the term “non-partisan” to go
5. Ken Blackwell was too busy watching Beyonce on his TV channel to go
4. He heard there might be adults there and wanted to see what that was all about
3. He thought I still worked there and wanted to box
2. He wanted to deliver a nice “Go Fuck Yourself” message to progressives
…and the number one reason Matt Naugle might be spotted at Progress Ohio on a day when strippers were fighting for their jobs:
1. It’s the only way he can get within 6 feet of an attractive woman
I guess when he says he’ll stay more than 6 feet away, he’d be…um…lying!
Hit the comments with other reasons Matt might stop by and visit his so-called “shady 527” nemesis. [Note to Matt: Look up 401c3 and 401c4 non-profits ya dipshit]