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“I am getting rather sick of these lifestyle nazis that are using the blunt force of government to crack down on … the eating of crappy food.”
Matt Naugle on Strickland’s Health Insurance Plan

I know Matt doesn’t understand this concept- any more than he understands why we have to wear seat belts. So let me try to explain it in selfish, republican-style language he can understand:

If you crash your car and aren’t wearing your seatbelt- then your beat-up body is transported to the hospital in an ambulance paid for by MY TAX DOLLARS, etc. The government, therefore, requires you to wear a seatbelt not because they give two-shits about your safety- but because it helps avoid the unneccessary costs.

The same thing is true of the costs associated with Obesity…

When FAT FUCKS like you get diabetes or hypertension or heart disease because you can’t stop eating fried twinkies- then MY FUCKING TAX DOLLARS have to be spent to pay for your treatment.

Therefore, it only seems fair that the government try to stop you from eating friend twinkies- i.e. becoming a fat, unhealthy fuck- for no other reason than to save money.

Does it make sense now?

  • But don’t take my word for it…

    check out this study of the impact of a seat belt law on Missouri’s state medicaid expenses. It estimates hundreds of millions of dollars in savings to the state.

  • Hey, I have an idea that might be useful to all of us in the Buckeye State.

    We.should.enlist.the.aid.of.Matt.Naugle.to.
    serve.as.a.crash.test.dummy.and.run.him.
    through.the.ringer.!.

    We can prove our point and be rid of Nasty Matty at the same time!

  • Probably won’t work since crash test dummies are supposed to represent average high/weight people.

  • Speaking of Matt Naugle, look what I found on my hard drive a few days ago.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtsIewSIz4s

    Yes, it’s exactly what you think it is.

  • Ah yes- we were looking for that.

    Thanks David.

  • now, if we could just locate that “of ficial camp aign blo g ger” one…

  • Hey —

    In all fairness to Matty, since it is Lent, I’ll bet he’s laying off the Twinkies in favor of marshmallow peeps. Either that or he’s feenin’ for some Girl Scout Thin Mints!

    WOOF!

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