OK, this is not related to RON, Hackett, Brown, blogs, or anything really. But that is what the Plunderbund category is for: randomness!

A buddy of mine (with obviously too much time on his hands) recently got one of the latest Nigerian scam spams. He actually replied – which never really occurred to me to do…but his was pretty funny.

The email starts off:

Dearest in christ,

My name is Mrs. Stefani Yao Hakam a nationality of Jordan. I am married to late Mr. Mohamed K Hakam who worked with Total Oil and a contractor in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year Octorber 2003.

We were married for twenty years with a child. He died after a the illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians. When my late husband was alive we deposited the sum of $3Million (three Million U.S.Dollars) with one of good banks here in Cote d’Ivoire.

Jon replies:

The Lord called me and he said to tell you to kiss his ass. He is sick of you trying to use his name in order to scam people out of their hard earned money. This scam is so old that even children would not fall for it, and attempting to make it more believebale by claiming to be a Christian and invoking the name of God does nothing. I would recommend that your lazy ass get a normal job, quit trying to scam people out of their money and prepare your soul for eternity in Hell.

God told me he has a special plan just for you, involving having the equivalent of any money you manage to scam changed into pennies, heated until they glow white, and then having demons insert them into your rectum one at a time until they spill from your mouth. I hope you enjoy living in the knowledge that you aren’t even intelligent enough to come up with an original attempt at scamming people and I hope that the anticipation of your eternal torment makes sleeping at night unbearable.